The triplets were at their dad's tonight so Céline, Didier, and I were able to talk privately about the kids. There have been so many issues with Camille lately that the parents wanted to bring me up to date. Céline and Camille apparently had an argument Sunday before I came home. I'm not sure what the dispute was about but according to everyone in the house, Camille's attitude had exploded. She's normally the snappy, head-twisting drama queen anyway, but she royally pissed off her mom this time--which is extremely difficult to do. Their argument ended up with Céline on the phone with Camille's birth dad. Céline asked Camille if she wanted to live with her dad and Camille stormed up the stairs bawling.
Bonne maman apparently decided to diffuse the situation and went to talk to Camille. Armelle was very intelligent in getting Camille to open up. She started out by saying Camille...Is there something going on with you and your siblings?' 'Do you have a problem with Didier?' 'Are there any issues with Melinda?' 'Are you mad at your mom?' Camille said "no" to all of the questions except the last one which she answered with tears. At this point, Camille let it all out and said that Céline doesn't want her anymore, etc, etc. Céline always wants her kids to be with her. She loves and adores them no matter how problematic they are. But honestly, if one of your kids is constantly telling you that life is horrible at your house, wouldn't you consider allowing them to live with the other parent too? Even if it's just to see how it would work out?
After the summary of Sunday's events, Céline decided to dig back a deep further and let me in on all of the issues she's had with Camille in the past. Camille had had episodes like this before--the hypochondria, the lying, and the horrible 'tudes. The incidents were so bad that Céline was forced to find a psych expert. At their appointment, Camille was told to go play with the toys while the doctor spoke to maman. At the end of the session, Camille was told to leave the room. The doctor explained to Céline that all of the dolls were laying at random outside of the dollhouse and that by the end of the meeting, Camille had put all of the dolls inside of the house in one room. According to the psychologist, Camille has a need to have everyone she loves together. It's obvious that the divorce between Céline and Anthony really hurt her. As a result of the people in her life being separated, she's turned to fishing for attention anyway she can. For example, faking sick.
I really hate to compare but Camille really reminds me of my little sister. Amanda was always searching for attention as well. She was never "sick" but she was always physically hurt in some way or another and always needed to be cared for. She was also always the loudest one in each room and always tried to be the funniest. Just like Camille. As my sister got older, the way she dressed herself became more and more revealing. Oh no, she didn't show much skin. The tightness of her clothes were more suggestive. Camille is the opposite though. She tries to show as much skin as possible. Camille called me to her room the other day and asked what I thought about an outfit she picked out. It was a black spaghetti strap/daisy duke ensemble. I ended up telling her "tu sera une salope si tu les portes comme ça", basically 'you'll look like a slut.' Whew! The look on her face was priceless but I think I got the point across. Her sister was already telling her how tasteless the outfit was. It's pretty big for an 11 year old to say that!
I've got less than two months left here but I really hope that I can help improve Camille's outlook and demeanor towards others. I've already failed once though. I was away at college when my sister exhibited most of her teenage angst. My parents really didn't know what to do with her so they let her do what she wanted. My brother basically ignored her while his girlfriends tried to be her buddy, encouraging her destructive ways. Just as Camille's friends are encouraging her. I, however, tried to do everything I possibly could while working on my degrees 10 hours away. When my dad called me distressed at 6 am about my sister's behavior, I made sure to call the right people and get him what he needed. My parents always asked for help with my sister but after I would do all of the hard work, they would never follow through. Another problem that's similar to Camille's situation--follow-through. I tried to discipline my sister as much as possible but I was only home for summer and Christmas break so she of course always defied my authority. I tried the nice approach with Amanda and that didn't work out either. She just fought me on everything! And at that age, you feel like you already know what's best. Yes, I remember what it was like! I really don't want Camille to go down that road though. I love her and I can see that she has so much potential but she is seriously spiraling toward the same fate as my sister. At 15, my sister "attempted" to commit suicide when my mom yelled at her about her dirty room. Amanda landed herself in a mental hospital while I was home for Christmas break. At 16, she became pregnant with a guy she had been with for 3 years but never loved. Now she's a teenage mother with no money, no job, no stable home, and no family. My sister finally has that attention she's always craved. My niece will be depending on her for the next 18 years, at least. The stories Camille tell me everyday pertaining to drama at school and boys really remind me of my old conversations with my sister. I'm constantly thinking "are you really doing that?" Maybe some people really are fated to certain lifestyles, but I'm the type that believes your destiny can be changed. The only thing I can really say about my sister is that I didn't try hard enough. I shouldn't have cared that she was constantly pushing me away. I should have fought harder. And that's what I'm going to do with Camille. I'm not her sister and I'm not her mother, but I'm her nanny, and I think she deserves my effort.
Bonne maman apparently decided to diffuse the situation and went to talk to Camille. Armelle was very intelligent in getting Camille to open up. She started out by saying Camille...Is there something going on with you and your siblings?' 'Do you have a problem with Didier?' 'Are there any issues with Melinda?' 'Are you mad at your mom?' Camille said "no" to all of the questions except the last one which she answered with tears. At this point, Camille let it all out and said that Céline doesn't want her anymore, etc, etc. Céline always wants her kids to be with her. She loves and adores them no matter how problematic they are. But honestly, if one of your kids is constantly telling you that life is horrible at your house, wouldn't you consider allowing them to live with the other parent too? Even if it's just to see how it would work out?
After the summary of Sunday's events, Céline decided to dig back a deep further and let me in on all of the issues she's had with Camille in the past. Camille had had episodes like this before--the hypochondria, the lying, and the horrible 'tudes. The incidents were so bad that Céline was forced to find a psych expert. At their appointment, Camille was told to go play with the toys while the doctor spoke to maman. At the end of the session, Camille was told to leave the room. The doctor explained to Céline that all of the dolls were laying at random outside of the dollhouse and that by the end of the meeting, Camille had put all of the dolls inside of the house in one room. According to the psychologist, Camille has a need to have everyone she loves together. It's obvious that the divorce between Céline and Anthony really hurt her. As a result of the people in her life being separated, she's turned to fishing for attention anyway she can. For example, faking sick.
I really hate to compare but Camille really reminds me of my little sister. Amanda was always searching for attention as well. She was never "sick" but she was always physically hurt in some way or another and always needed to be cared for. She was also always the loudest one in each room and always tried to be the funniest. Just like Camille. As my sister got older, the way she dressed herself became more and more revealing. Oh no, she didn't show much skin. The tightness of her clothes were more suggestive. Camille is the opposite though. She tries to show as much skin as possible. Camille called me to her room the other day and asked what I thought about an outfit she picked out. It was a black spaghetti strap/daisy duke ensemble. I ended up telling her "tu sera une salope si tu les portes comme ça", basically 'you'll look like a slut.' Whew! The look on her face was priceless but I think I got the point across. Her sister was already telling her how tasteless the outfit was. It's pretty big for an 11 year old to say that!
I've got less than two months left here but I really hope that I can help improve Camille's outlook and demeanor towards others. I've already failed once though. I was away at college when my sister exhibited most of her teenage angst. My parents really didn't know what to do with her so they let her do what she wanted. My brother basically ignored her while his girlfriends tried to be her buddy, encouraging her destructive ways. Just as Camille's friends are encouraging her. I, however, tried to do everything I possibly could while working on my degrees 10 hours away. When my dad called me distressed at 6 am about my sister's behavior, I made sure to call the right people and get him what he needed. My parents always asked for help with my sister but after I would do all of the hard work, they would never follow through. Another problem that's similar to Camille's situation--follow-through. I tried to discipline my sister as much as possible but I was only home for summer and Christmas break so she of course always defied my authority. I tried the nice approach with Amanda and that didn't work out either. She just fought me on everything! And at that age, you feel like you already know what's best. Yes, I remember what it was like! I really don't want Camille to go down that road though. I love her and I can see that she has so much potential but she is seriously spiraling toward the same fate as my sister. At 15, my sister "attempted" to commit suicide when my mom yelled at her about her dirty room. Amanda landed herself in a mental hospital while I was home for Christmas break. At 16, she became pregnant with a guy she had been with for 3 years but never loved. Now she's a teenage mother with no money, no job, no stable home, and no family. My sister finally has that attention she's always craved. My niece will be depending on her for the next 18 years, at least. The stories Camille tell me everyday pertaining to drama at school and boys really remind me of my old conversations with my sister. I'm constantly thinking "are you really doing that?" Maybe some people really are fated to certain lifestyles, but I'm the type that believes your destiny can be changed. The only thing I can really say about my sister is that I didn't try hard enough. I shouldn't have cared that she was constantly pushing me away. I should have fought harder. And that's what I'm going to do with Camille. I'm not her sister and I'm not her mother, but I'm her nanny, and I think she deserves my effort.
No comments:
Post a Comment