Sunday, June 9, 2013

Dimanche, 26 Mai 2013: Mothers Day

I felt like Andréa and I didn't really get to spend quality time this weekend so instead of leaving by 11h00 like I had originally planned, I decided to stay through the early afternoon. Our weekends basically consist of trips and spending time with his friends now. All of my friends except for Krystle have left and she normally stays in Aix on the weekends. I'm getting really anxious about moving back to the states. I've gotten so used to the way of life here and I even think in French most of the time. I'm looking forward to getting back to my job behind the bar and seeing all of my friends again but I'm really going to miss France. I often wake up in the middle of the night with my first thought being 'I'm leaving soon.' I know that I have two months left and that I shouldn't worry about it, but I can't help it. I want to take advantage of every moment but it's difficult to do that sometimes, especially when you're sad.

Once I felt like I got enough one-on-one time with Andréa, I allowed him to take me home. The French celebrate Mother's Day on the last Sunday in May unlike we Americans. We arrived back in Aix mid-afternoon while there were still Mother's Day visitors. Céline's sister Lucille as well as her husband and three kids were present. I saw everyone as I walked onto the terrace. I already had the gift bag in my hand so I couldn't hide it. I just marched straight up to maman and handed it to her. Céline beamed at me the entire time I was walking toward her so I felt kind of awkward. I wish I would've known Lucille was going to be there because I would've gotten her something but Céline is MY maman. She opened the bag up carefully, removing one thing at a time. It was cute. I kind of feel lame that I only got her a room spray and some flowers but I'm not accustomed to giving extravagant gifts--especially for Hallmark holidays. Maman seemed content with the gift though. I'm sure she was more content with the fact that I thought of her on this special day. 

Andréa had already missed about two hours of his own Mother's Day celebration because I was needy and wanted to spend more time with him so when I could, I made him hightail it back to Marseille to see his mom, aunts, and grandmother. Bummer for Andréa though because it was dessert time. Didier bought the most amazing fruit tarts for this special day. I've never quite tasted anything so sugary that was this good. Andréa missed out. Oh well! I'm sure he got to eat some good food at his grandma's house. 

I probably should have called my real mom for Mother's Day at least, but our history isn't a good one. I decided to just let it go because I don't want to give her an invitation back into my life. She's the type of person that will hurt you if and when she can and feel no remorse for it. I decided last year that I wouldn't let it happen again so I'm just done with her. I'm sure she would've liked to know that she was thought of though. I feel bad for my mom, but you can't let people treat you like crap and then get away with it. Not for 20+ years anyway...I'm so thankful that I have Céline. She's only been my maman for about 8 months but she's been a great mom to me. I love her as a mother and I know that she loves me as a daughter. At least I have her.

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