Dimanche, 23 Juin 2013: PART I: Glanum

Andréa and I packed up and went down to have breakfast with the other wedding guests this morning. Zoë, one of the good kids, came and gave me a hug and a kiss. That was cute but I was still dead so I probably didn't show much appreciation. Once we finished eating, Laurent came and paid us and we were off. As we went to say goodbye to the newlyweds, Vincent who called me the nanny from Hell all day yesterday said hello to me. I just glared at him, snickered, and all of the kids behind us started laughing.

We got all of our bags together, got the car from the valet, and headed off toward the ancient Roman city, Glanum. I originally wanted to visit Nostradamus' old hauntings but we couldn't find any concise information on that. Glanum was cool. You get to see two structures for free...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/db/Monuments_at_Glanum.jpg

The rest of the roman city are hidden behind mountains and ticket booths. Andréa and I made our way across the street and paid to see this ancient treasure. Well, I paid. He got in for free because he's under 25. The site was pretty cool! I really like history and enjoy artifacts so this really tickled my fancy. I never thought I'd get the chance to see something like this!

http://www.deke.com/files/images/Glanum-ruins-big.jpg

I was completely mystified by everything we came across. I wondered what life might've been like back in those days. When we saw everything that we could see, I asked Andréa for his camera so that I could ask someone to take a picture of us. He looked absolutely horrified and made excuses about the camera not working properly. He made such an argument out of it that I just let it go. I was upset, yes, because I know my time in France will soon end. I just want to get as many pictures with him as possible, as reminders of amazing things that we did together. Andréa asked if he could just take a picture of me, and you know, that's just not the same to me, so I declined. I realized then that he no longer understands me or my motives. How can a photographer not see? Maybe he was embarrassed because I'm such a photo-holic. But if he loves me like he says he does, then he should let me indulge in my hobbies, even if it does involve asking a million people to take our picture. I could see that Andréa was getting irritated and he started taking jabs at me, but I just didn't say anything. I didn't want the situation to escalate, especially after what happened last weekend. Strange though, that I came across this quote just minutes later. 

"The moment in which a woman no longer feels the need to argue with you anymore is the very moment in which she's decided she can do better." 

I think our time has passed.

Samedi, 22 Juin 2013: Goal for OM! Not...

Andréa and I headed to St. Remy de Provence today. He was commissioned to be the photographer at an Olympique Marseille trainer's wedding while I was paid to be the babysitter. The bride and groom were so sweet and inviting. I thought 150 euros for a night of babysitting would be alright. I'm not the greedy type and I knew what I was saying yes to. I didn't expect them to be angels by any means but I knew that it'd be okay as long as I could keep them contained. I was supposed to get a room next to the reception hall so that I could keep the kids in one location and all of the kids were supposed to bring their own games. 

When the maid-of-honor aka Andréa's cousin aka Stéphanie arrived, she had no idea what was going on. Not only was she late, but she had no details on what I was supposed to do or where I was supposed to go, and she was the one that gave me the job! I decided I'd just chill out and go with the flow though. Stressing doesn't help. I knew Stéphanie was stressed so when she dropped her two boys on me, I gladly took them. The boys stayed outside with me while the couple was being married. Joey and Fabio are naturally loud and have no respect for sacred ceremonies as they don't understand them yet so I kept them distracted as long as possible. Luckily, there were pigeons, fountains, and lavender petals on the ground to help me. Before I knew it, the ceremony was over and we were all on our way back to the hotel for the reception. 

The kids and I ate during aperitifs and this is where I met everyone. The girls latched onto me quickly while the boys were more standoffish. I didn't really care. The moms came to help during this time and used it as an opportunity to stuff their faces. The appetizers they were served were few and far between. Not only that but they were microscopic, so I understand. I tried to get Joey to eat but he threw a fit and wouldn't so I really wasn't able to eat either. I got maybe two bites in. I was kind of irritated because I knew I had at least 8 more hours ahead of me. 

The kids and I took off to the garden labyrinth after dinner and played for awhile. I still had no word on the kids' room. I had 10 kids for your information so it was difficult for me to keep track of all of them. I knew the work officially started when I heard Shanna screaming. The 3 year old had gotten a splinter. Her aunt, Natéa, who is a mere 12 years old took her back to her mom. During this time, the rest of the kids took apart the paper flowers that were up for decoration. I don't know how many times I said "no!" but no one listened. Shortly afterward, Lucas' older brother who is my age arrived with his two goon friends. Vincent, the flamboyant one, called me 'The Nanny from Hell.' He would be the annoying mosquito for the rest of the night. The three of them knocked down the paper lanterns and destroyed all of the feather-filled globes that were hanging on the trees. Immediately after they left, the hotel manager walks up with Andréa with his jaw dropped in horror. 'This cost a fortune...' is all that came out of his mouth. The manager pointed to Joey and told Fabio that he needed to keep an eye on his brother. Joey was apparently walking around the hotel grounds alone, but he was left with his mother...I decided not to bring that up though. I spoke to Andréa in English and told him that it was impossible for me to keep the kids under control without the room. The hotel manager then asked me in English if I wanted him to find me a room. Obviously, no one ever reserved a playroom for the kids. So, I was lied to. Not only that, but not a single kid brought an activity along with them. 

The hotel manager put the kids and I in a sitting room with candy, coloring books, utensils, and a TV. The kids were calm for a bit but then the boys started to rebel--running off any chance they got. I got sick of chasing after the kids, especially since their parents saw them being hellians and said nothing. Bad parenting...Why would you bring your kids to a wedding anyway? There were four good kids: Natéa (12 y/o), Romy (8 y/o), Zoë (4 y/o), and Lucas (4 y/o). They helped me keep the kids under control and yelled at them when they were being naughty. I've never done a one-time babysitting job so I haven't gotten the disciplinary methods down for that yet. Joey kept on coming and going throughout the night. The kid is nearly 3 and doesn't speak yet so I don't know why his parents would trust him to venture off alone. Every time he came back to me, Fabio would follow up behind him and say 'Oh, mom told him to go find you.' Grr...If you're going to send your young child somewhere more than a building away, accompany them. I've never understood parents who didn't follow that rule. There were plenty of pools and ponds around that Joey could've fallen in. The last time he tried to leave, I made Fabio go with him and tell their mom that he wasn't allowed to come back. I had had enough of trying to keep track of kids here and there. 

When the dancing began, the kids took off to join the adults. Natéa kindly left me her IPAD filled with season 3 of the Vampire Diaries. Lucas came back and kept me company since his aunt decided to leave me her sleeping baby. Zoë came back around 1h00 and passed out to a Mickey Mouse movie around 2h00. She fell asleep in an armchair so I picked her up and laid her down on the couch and took off her sandals. Her mom came for her around then. For the last hour, I just had the baby who was sound asleep and Fabio who occasionally visited after downing a cocktail. He was completely drunk! It was disgusting! According to the other kids, it was given to him by his parents. I don't understand that either, but I don't know if the kids are lying or not. Andréa brought me Mojitos and checked on me all night even though I had been mean to him. I felt like I was conned into this job but honestly, it was my fault for not meeting with everyone and confirming the specifications of the job. Though I really couldn't have because they met while I was with my normal kids.

Around 4h00, the baby's parents finally picked him up. I cleaned up a bit, downed my mojitos, and went to bed. Our room was right above the reception hall so I passed everyone partying as I went up. I completely neglected to say anything to Andréa because I was absolutely dead. We made eye-contact across the ballroom as I was unlocking the door. I just turned and walked into the room. I got into the shower to clean all of the crud off of my body and as I was finishing up, Andréa climbed in. I had nothing to say to him. I wasn't mad at him, but I knew he would want to talk because of my attitude the entire night. I wanted to explain but sleep was more imperative. His job as a photographer might be exhausting but I just had a 12 hour day with a dozen kids that had no boundaries. I was completely out when Andréa crawled into bed, but he woke me up with his kisses. I think I fell asleep again when we were making out. Oops...

Vendredi, 21 Juin 2013: Fête de la Musique

Today, every city in France is hosting a music festival. It's called World Music Day. This tradition was started about 30 years ago by Maurice Fleuret who wanted to promote the practice of and exposure to music. Over 100 countries in the world are now celebrating the cause on the exact same day. 

I really wanted to see the festival. Aix-en-Provence supposedly holds one of the best and I had a friend that was playing. I asked Andréa if he was ready to go, repeatedly, over an hour's time. Each time, he replied with 'yes' but never got his things together and never even took a step toward the exit. I really wanted to experience the concerts and see my friends which were only about a 20 minute walk away in the nearby park, but that didn't happen. By the time Andréa made any moves, my friend's band had already begun playing and traffic was absolutely catastrophic. It's normal though. Everyone comes to Aix for La fête de la Musique. I would've told him about my friend's band earlier but I wanted to surprise him with the table that was reserved for us. Not only that, but I didn't want to make him do anything he didn't want to do and I didn't want to sway his decision by announcing my friend was playing. If he had no interest in the festival, then I just wanted to leave it at that. Well, I missed the world-renowned festival, but at least Didier, Céline, and Gregoire were able to see Antoine play in Avignon. Here's to my amazingly talented host brother! He's a killer guitarist!!!

Jeudi, 20 Juin 2013: Scleroderma

I was supposed to hang out with my fellow au pairs today. I was the one that organized the get-together because I knew that Alyssa would be leaving soon and I hadn't seen her or the other girls in quite some time. I cancelled though when I found out that Krystle was admitted to the hospital. Other than Andréa, Krystle is one of my best friends here. 

I made sure everything was taken care of with the triplets and Gregoire before I hopped in the car and headed to Marseille. Krystle was only supposed to get a blood infusion today but the doctors admitted her for a minimum of 5 days so that she could have several infusions and have her necrotic skin treated. I knew she wasn't expecting to stay overnight so I grabbed some magazines and a bag of craft supplies for her. I made it to Marseille in about 20 minutes but by that time Sebastien, Krystle's boyfriend, told me that visiting hours were over. I was so annoyed! No one told me that there were specific visiting hours. Oh well, I turned around and headed to Andréa's afterward. 

Mercredi, 19 Juin 2013: Shred of Happiness

Andréa and I spent a beautiful night together last night. I re-affirmed my feelings for him and he seemed to regain some confidence in our relationship. It's a weekday though so my man had to get up for work at 4h00. My host dad told me not to worry about Gregoire and that he'd take him to the creche so I spent all morning in Marseille, waiting for Andréa to get home from work. By the time he got home, the entire apartment was spotless. What can I say? Messes make me uncomfortable! He's always cooking for me or running me baths and giving me massages, the least I can do is clean up after him. Andréa was pretty happy to come home to a clean apartment. That made me smile. It's the little things that matter anyway. And after a long work day, I'm glad I was able to give him a little shred of happiness.

Mardi, 18 Juin 2013: Fear = Disaster

I felt kind of weird after last night's discussion with Andréa. Honestly, I feel like a horrible girlfriend for leaving him in the dust. A continental move is such a big step in someone's life and I should help him. Sure, I did it on my own but that was my decision and my journey. Andréa has me, he should be able to reap the benefits that come with a relationship. 

I'm constantly researching loopholes for him to exist with me. Andréa basically has three options, enroll at an American university, win the Greed Card Lottery, or marry me. I'm honestly not ready to get married yet so I'll just pray that he wins the lottery. Andréa has no real interest in being a student again so I don't want to make that suggestion. He would get at least a year-long visa if he did that though. Maybe that'll be enough time for him to see that it really won't work out between us. No, I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist.

Regardless of what I say, whether it will work out or it won't, the truth is that I don't really know. I'm not clairvoyant and I can't predict the future. Anything can happen. We could live happily ever after. It's possible. I decided to put my own fears and insecurities aside and show Andréa that I support him and his efforts. Fear, any amount of it, will always break a relationship. I'm typically not afraid of anything so this is kind of new to me. Luckily, I'm able to control my emotions and forget about them for awhile. I went to Marseille to be with Andréa tonight. I'm sure what I said last night hurt him and I want him to know that I still love him. 

Lundi, 17 Juin 2013: Travelers vs. Settlers

Camille had a dentist appointment today so I hurried home after dropping Gregoire off at the creche. Maman had said that we would be eating together after the appointment so I threw a picnic for two together. I picked Camille up from school and we walked together to the dentist's office where maman would be meeting us. The visit wasn't very long. Camille had her cavity filled and we were on our way back out. She and I ate lunch at the park by her school and it was back to class for her. Ha haha. 

The ride home with the kids after school today was really tiresome. First of all, Baptiste took forever to make it out to the car. He dawdles as long as he possibly can before one of the teachers yells at him to get going. Then in the car, he yelled at Camille and hit her for telling me that he purposefully took forever. I stopped the car in the middle of the street amidst a green light and completely lost it. He had shoved Camille's head into the window and she was crying. He is one of very few people that have been bitched out by me, and he's gotten it several times. I will not tolerate that behavior! Baptiste got red in the face and made faces at me from behind. The little twerp isn't very intelligent. I saw it all in the rear-view mirror. Then I heard him mumbling about how he wants to move to his dad's house so I called Céline and told her everything he did and said. She had some words with him when she got home from work today. Baptiste tried to lie about some things that occurred and I happened to walk in just at the right time. I asked him to his face 'what did I say?' and he just put his head down and said 'nothing.' Maman realized at that moment that he was fibbing and sent him upstairs. I. AM. NEVER. HAVING. KIDS!!!

The entire Baptiste situation was diffused once the parents stepped in but I had had enough for one day. These kids are so physically and mentally exhausting. It didn't help when Andréa called me on Skype to talk about his pending move to America. Let me refresh your memories. The guy shoved me down on his balcony two days ago during a heated moment. Do you think I have ANY further interest in him following me to America? Je pense que non! I said in that post that I would be stupid if I stayed with him. Well, I'm obviously stupid because I haven't dumped him yet. I love him. What can I say? It's a difficult situation. I told him that I didn't see it working out between us though and that he should stop the visa process. He turned off his webcam and said he didn't want me to see him cry. That made me feel bad but he hurt me, physically. No, it wasn't life-altering and I have but one scanty bruise on my palm where I caught myself, but it was enough to make me re-think whether or not I could marry him. And at this point, no matter how much I love him, I don't think I can. Behavior like that always escalates.

I allowed Andréa get out what he needed to say, about his plans and whatnot, but when he started asking me for help, I kind of just swept it to the side. I got myself to France without help from anyone. Yes, I have help now, but in the beginning I found a home, a job, and friends on my own. I want Andréa to prove to me that he's capable of doing it too. Not only will he confirm my belief in him, but he'll get his own satisfaction through doing it the hard way. Or maybe I'm the only person that likes that. I hate the easy button. 

I don't want Andréa to feel abandoned by me, but I don't know what else to do. I've sought legal advice for him, looked up the paperwork, and even looked up potential jobs. If he wants to be with me that bad, he should be able to handle the rest. I guess I'm also kind of being selfish because I don't want him weighing me down. I already have my own life and I know what I want out of it. He's still discovering himself. Maybe there's a conflict of interest too. Anyway, It's his decision to move to America. I never asked him to follow me. Sure, it would make me happy if he came but I believe that everyone needs to follow their own paths. I don't think there was any indication that he should leave France before I came along. Sure, we look good together, but if you dig a little, you see that I'm a traveler and he's a settler. I just don't think it will work out because we're so different. But when love is in the equation, you never know...You just never know.

Dimanche, 16 Juin 2013: Fête des Pères

Krystle offered to come get me in Marseille after last night's events. I knew she didn't have a car at the moment though so I told her not to worry. Andréa told me he would take me back to Aix last night but didn't. I decided I'd wait it out even though that's normally a stupid idea. While his cousins were over for dinner last night, he acted like nothing was wrong and kissed me obsessively. As if that was going to make me forget what he did.

I didn't sleep at all last night. I took it as an opportunity to get stuff together for Didier's surprise Father's Day dinner. I got up pretty early and started working. I had spoken with maman yesterday and we decided together that I'd do all of the cooking. I didn't really have any ideas and maman gave me a budget so I decided to go for my version of bar food. I used the leftover eggroll wraps and rolled up some random things. I made three appetizers with the wraps. The first consisted of cream cheese, shredded imitation crab meat, and sliced pepperoncinos. The second snack I made was filled with ground beef, barbecue sauce, and diced red bell peppers. The last little finger food I made was a roll of ground beef, worchestershire sauce, and diced green peppers. Once I made about three pieces for each person, I stopped. I didn't want to overdo it like I normally do. Remember, I always cook too much and we have leftovers for days!

Andréa woke up while I was in the middle of cooking and he tried to talk to me like nothing had happened. Sure, I had forgiven him, but I wasn't ready to go back to the way things were before. I had little to say and we were due at his dad's house for lunch so I went ahead and got ready. I didn't really want to go but I didn't want to make that into a conversation that would turn into an argument so I got in the car. Lunch in Carry was good. Andréa's dad is a fabulous cook. He made duck with a mushroom cream sauce. This is probably one of my favorite dishes he's graced us with. We, of course, had the rum caramelized bananas for dessert.

Andréa and I headed back to Marseille after lunch to retrieve the food I had made this morning. When we got to Aix, Didier was not yet there. The triplets arrived just as we got there and I was a bit annoyed because I thought they were spending Father's Day with their father. It turns out they only stayed for lunch so I had to scramble and make more food. Didier finally walked in about an hour after we arrived and was surprised we were celebrating Father's Day with him. Gregoire isn't old enough to understand these holidays yet, and the triplets are not his kids so he wasn't expecting anything. Didier is like a true father to me though so I'm glad I was able to make him happy. We had the roll-ups as an appetizer and for the entrée, I tried my hand at wings for the first time. I looked up a basic sauce and they actually turned out to be pretty good. They're not the Buffalo Wild Wings that I'm used to, but Didier loved them and that's all that matters. Success!

Samedi, 15 Juin 2013: PART IIII: Finally Crossing The Line

Andréa and I headed back to Marseille after Le Vieux Castellet. Like I said before, we were supposed to stay in Bandol the whole weekend but we just weren't comfortable there. We went to Auchan to get groceries for dinner tonight and on the way to his apartment Andréa pulled some Grand Prix crap and scared the wits out of me! We were at an intersection, waiting at a stop sign. There was a car coming from the right and though they didn't signal, they pulled into the left lane to turn in our direction--a huge pet peeve of Andréa's. Before I knew it, Andréa put on his road rage hat and took off into the intersection, cutting off the car before it could turn and slightly missing another car that was coming from the same direction. I just looked at him with my mouth gaped open, holding tightly onto my seat. The only words that came out of my mouth were "If I ever marry you, I will NEVER have kids with you. You'd kill them." 

He tried to argue his stance on the car situation but I wasn't hearing it. I just know that he'd be one of those guys that tells his wife he's only done something dangerous once, and then accidentally hurt their kids during one of the "rare" times. I've known so many people guilty of stuff like that. One guy I went to school with took his son out to climb trees with their jeep even though he promised his wife he'd never do it again. The wheels lost their grip because he was going too fast and the Jeep flipped over onto the both of them. The kid died immediately from his injuries and the father lived, only to be tortured by guilt. His wife left him as well. I didn't say another thing to Andréa. The only thing going through my head was that story. I know it's a long shot to say that we'd go through something like that, but when you're looking for a life partner, you pay attention to their habits--good and bad. To me, that was a red flag, and I was just making note of it.

We eventually got back to the apartment after a drive in silence. I wasn't purposefully ignoring him. I just didn't have anything left to say after that. And I didn't want to make small talk. I'm comfortable in silence, but for Andréa, 'je fait la tête.' He always thinks that I'm mad when I don't talk, but I'm just reflecting. The silence got to him so much that he went off on me. He yelled about how I had been annoyed all day and that it finally got to him. I didn't know what to do so I went out onto the balcony to be alone. He followed me out there and said that if I was going to ignore him, then I should just leave. I didn't feel like arguing with him so I got up to leave. He immediately stopped me from leaving, grabbed me, and pushed me down! I cannot freakin' believe it...I don't know if it was lucky for me, or lucky for him, but his cousins and their kids arrived for dinner just at that moment.

I was conflicted about writing this post because I don't want anyone to think that Andréa is a bad person. But I know that if I didn't talk about it, I'd feel like I was hiding something. Those of you that keep up with my blog know that there's a post for each day, and that there's always something to say. I tell you all everything. I never really though any of Andréa's previous actions during a heated argument were ever really violent before but pushing me down like that was crossing the line. Yes, I had an abusive mom and I can handle a lot, even being beaten to a pulp, but that doesn't mean that I want it to or will allow it to happen. One thing is for sure about personality traits like that though. They only get worse over time. I've already had one abusive boyfriend and that's enough for a lifetime. I will never be able to forget Mike because he gave me a permanent notch on my forehead. I don't care if flying off a handle is a Marseillais thing. If he really loved me, he would learn how to manage his anger without having to get physical. I would be stupid to stay with Andréa now...

Samedi, 15 Juin 2013: PART III: Galéjade et L'Ambiance d'Anis

Andréa and I went straight to Le Vieux Castellet after lunch at Pauline's. If you didn't read my last post about it, Le Vieux Castellet is a medieval village. We had one stop in mind in the village, Les Bougies de Castellet (Galéjade). Andréa, Momo, and I fell in love with this shop the last time we were here. We each bought two fragrances. This time Andréa wanted to buy another room spray to compliment the one we already had. The new perfume also happens to be a mosquito repellent so it's perfect for this time of year when we're being eaten alive. 

http://audomaroise.canalblog.com/archives/2008/07/16/9941790.html

The same chipper woman was there. She remembered us and even Momo who wasn't there this time. Today, we found out that her name is Valentine. We found her in the middle of a conversation with another stranger who was going through some life obstacles. Valentine is the type of person that will give up her entire life's story to anyone. Nothing to hide and no regrets even though some things went sour. I like people like her!  Andréa, Valentine, the other woman, and I all stood in a circle and conversed for a good hour. The women thought that Andréa and I had a storybook relationship. Ha haha, it's not always so magical but when people find out about how we met, they fall in love with our story.

 

http://audomaroise.canalblog.com/archives/2008/07/16/9941790.html

The bags were decorated with care just as the last time we came in. No matter the occasion, Valentine will always wrap your purchases up as if they're to be given as gifts. Just as well though, because they're normally gifted. Andréa bought a room spray for us, "Arbousier" which easily complimented the "Passion Impériale" we already had. He also bought a scent and diffuser for his step-mother who he didn't have time to see on Mother's Day. Valentine threw in a free candle as a thank you. The candle is absolutely delightful. The fragrance is soft yet has a strong presence. 

http://leschroniquesdemorganeblonde.blogspot.fr/2011/03/galejade.html

After we made our purchases, we went onto a liquoriste to find a gift for our dads. Father's Day is tomorrow. L'Ambiance d'Anis was recommended by Valentine so there we went. This was another cute little shop, managed by a cute, little woman. The stool she was standing on behind the counter was deceiving. When she came out from behind it, she stood as tall as my chest. The way she projected her voice made her sound much bigger though. The shop had dozens of jars of homemade liquors/liqueurs--absinthe, limoncello, even whisky. It looked like something out of Harry Potter. Each jar had a tap on it for tasting. We must've tasted everything in there! Thank goodness they were small samples. I'm a light-weight so I was already pretty drunk after the last one. You would think that having a host dad like Didier and living in wine country would increase my tolerance, but no, I'm still a 2 beer/2 shot girl. 

 http://cavelavalloise.com/6.html

After much deliberation, Andréa and I settled on a pastis for Didier and a thyme liquor for Pièrre. We also got an aperitif for dinner tonight and some thyme liquor for the digèstif--for ourselves of course ;-) For each liquor, you pick one bottle out of the many beautiful styles. Each bottle has it's own unique price due to the volume. The bottle is filled, labeled, then sealed with a cork and heated-plastic wrap to ensure freshness. If you return to the shop with your bottle, you can get it re-filled with your liquor of choice for 6 euros less. It was so much fun to taste and discover the various ways one can make pastis, absinthe, and other liqueurs. The price was also very agreeable! I will definitely come back to find something to bring home to the states!

http://www.lacavedeschouans.fr/les-autres-aperitifs?page=2#block-2

Samedi, 15 Juin 2013: PART II: Pauline's

After the failed hike we decided to pack up our things and leave the apartment. We were due to stay the entire weekend but the studio was uncomfortable. It was a cute place but the fumes from the recent paint job and blankets that had been sitting in sunlight too long made it difficult to breathe. Once we got all of our stuff together Andréa drove us back down to the port for lunch. 

We walked around for quite a bit, gazing at menus, returning to multiple places for comparison, until we found the place that interested us both--Pauline's. I had a hankering for a salad!!! The little bistro was pretty much empty compared to all of the other places, but the menu sounded promising. As soon as we approached the patio, the cute server/manager popped out to seat us. When she brought our beers around, she kind of looked at me in an odd way. When we made eye contact the manager explained to me that I look like her step-daughter. I was relieved that she wasn't gawking at me because there was something wrong with my face. Ha haha.

Andréa and I both ordered salads. His with warm goat cheese, toast, ham, and tomatoes and mine with seafood. They were perfect for our flickering appetite and absolutely divine!

Of course our lunch wasn't complete without frozen yogurt!!! BEST FRO-YO EVER!!!

Samedi, 15 Juin 2013: PART I: The Hike

Andréa woke me up a little before noon today. I was perfectly content in bed so I tried to stay in it as long as possible. When I finally got a bit of energy, I got up and got ready for the day. Andréa led me down to the private beach next to the apartment complex. It was cute, but nothing special. He then showed me a huge, winding stairway up the side of a cliff that we were apparently supposed to climb. I had wanted to go hiking while we were in Bandol but A.) It had only been about a week since I twisted my ankle and even though it no longer hurt, it still gets worn out with too much activity, B.) It was noon, the hottest time of the day. If you want to hike, you need to start before 9am honestly. But again, Andréa's probably never actually been hiking. Otherwise, he would've known that. 

The two of us started the climb and I immediately got tired. The man-made wood/rock stairs were tight and extremely steep. Only a quarter of the way up, I slipped on a mossy rock and accidentally turned my bad ankle too far. This is when I decided I was done but Andréa taunted me, saying 'you're the one that wanted to hike.' Um...Yeah...I said that a week ago. He annoyed me so I gave him a bit of a tongue-lashing before I kept on going up the cliff. My ankle hurt pretty bad but I wasn't going to let him make me feel like a wuss. This is when he stopped and just sat on a rock. He was sulking because I yelled at him. I was halfway up the cliff before I noticed. I just yelled his name and kept going. He was the one pestering me. If I was going to do this ridiculous hike on a sprained ankle, he was going to do it too. He immediately got up and followed, slowly. I waited for Andréa when I got to the top of the cliff. When he finally got to the top, he passed right by me without looking at me and kept going. He was obviously not done pouting yet so I let him fly off. I decided to take a little pause by a hidden, scenic view. I didn't tell him I was stopping, I just let him keep going. I thought he needed alone time. 

I stood on the edge of the cliff, cushioned by shrubs that kept me from falling off. I breathed in the hot sea air and took in the gorgeous view. A few minutes passed by before I heard Andréa huffing and puffing behind me. He was pissed! I kind of just brushed it off and said "Hey, look! This is a perfect view for your pictures! Take some!" and I just walked away. This is when I got yelled at. I listened to what he had to say and that somehow just made me laugh my tush off. I don't know what it is about French guys but when they get mad, it's kind of comedic. There's just so much drama! I'm more of the silent type when I'm in a bad mood. 

I walked on as Andréa was having his scream fest and just kept laughing to myself. About a minute later, I felt someone grabbing my hand and interlocking their fingers with mine. I looked to my right and it was Andréa. We both just looked at each other and roared with laughter. Our arguments are so stupid most of the time and it's normally due to miscommunication. We end up yelling at each other and during this time we get out how we feel. For example, when I yelled at him the first time, he found out that my ankle was bothering me and that was the reason I didn't want to hike. When he yelled at me, I found out that he only wanted to do the hike because I was so persistent the week before and that he was worried when he couldn't find me. I guess in the sense of arguments, ours aren't bad. Although we have had two exceptions that I will never forget. I learned in my psych class long ago that couples that dispute moderately have a better chance of success than couples who don't fight at all. Apparently, if you agree on everything then someone's lying because one or both person's needs/wants/expectations aren't being met. I think I'm okay with these little arguments from time to time, as long as they always end like this.

Vendredi, 14 Juin 2013: Bandol

Andréa and I headed to Bandol tonight. His godfather lended us his rental for the weekend so I could discover a little bit more of France. Bandol was cute. Again, like most other Mediterranean beach towns but not nearly as expensive as Nice and not nearly as trashy as some parts of Marseille. Bandol held a healthy, middle rating for me. 

Since we arrived at night, we dropped our things off at the apartment and heading straight down to the port for dinner. The two of us walked around for a bit until we found a menu that would satisfy our appetite and prices that wouldn't break Andréa's bank account. Andréa's price range for eating out is much higher than mine, but I try to look for things on the cheaper side so that we can do cool things alongside our food excursions. Like I said before, I really like that Andréa takes care of me--financially and emotionally. Chivalry--it's what I was raised on, and I guess he was too. If we have nothing else, at least we have that in common ;-) Ha haha.

We found a cute restaurant on a secondary street, behind all of the hot spots on the main stretch. This resto had a combo special. You pick one appetizer and one entrée for 18 euros. There were two choices for each. I chose the duck roll-up with pickled vegetables as an appetizer and a shrimp platter in a cream sauce as my entrée. Needless to say, I was more than happy. Andréa took me out for gelato afterward. He let me pick all 3 of the flavors that went into the cone. I don't know why he lets me do that because my combination was absolutely stupid--mint chocolate chip, some sort of fruit sorbet, and a cherry-ish vanilla flavor. I'm cool with picking one, while he picks another, and us agreeing on the last. They were all good--just not together. I fell under a gelato coma soon after a few bites so Andréa killed the rest as usual. It's so crazy...Ever since Andréa and I have begun dating, I haven't forced myself to finish a single dish. Complimentary personalities??? Maybe...

Jeudi, 13 Juin 2013: Le Patacrêpe, Round 2

Andréa's been coming to Aix a lot--volunteering himself for the trip since I haven't had the opportunity to visit him in Marseille. Our thing this week is eating out. First it was the pizza at the overlook, then the cute japanese resto on Bar Street, and tonight--Patacrêpe. I had eaten here the first month I was in France and was surprisingly satisfied. I was always told by frenchies not to go to chain restaurants. 

Though the heat was blazing, Andréa and I sat outside and took in all of the scents and sounds. There was an accordion player playing in the streets so this made for an especially romantic dinner. Another culturally diverse couple sat next to us which was cute as well (Caucasian, English-speaking woman with an Indian, French-speaking man). 

I didn't explore the menu much further than the last time I was at Patacrêpe...I ordered the same thing. A humongous salad with raw ham, huge mozzarella balls, other random chunks of cheese, all on top of a single wheat crêpe. I don't know why I ordered that. It was too hot so I wasn't at all hungry, and there were much smaller things on the menu that would've done just fine. I'm a pig though...I live to eat. There are bigger problems in life...

Mercredi, 12 Juin 2013: Le Grand Atelier du Midi

I was planning on spending the day with Krystle but as I was upstairs napping, my host dad came to me and said "Melinda, I need you to get ready right now because I can't go to the expo with your mom." Céline and Didier had been invited to the museum Granet exhibit by Phillip Cézanne, the grandson of the famous provençal painter Paul Cézanne. The show was called Le Grand Atelier du Midi which featured the older Cézanne's work. Papa had a lot of work left to do before his business meeting so he got me to go in his place. I quickly hopped in the shower, threw on a black dress, and made myself up with some classic black eyeliner and rouges-à-levres and ran out the door. 

I met maman, Phillip, and his wife Christine on the steps of the museum. I was obviously overdressed for such an event. This is how we normally dress for grand openings of exhibitions where I'm from though. The Cézannes and Céline thought it was nice though, so that's all that matters. While inside the exhibit, Phillip explained all of his grandfather's pieces--the history, his inspiration, and what it in turn inspired. All of the art in the museum was lent by another museum because they are all, of course, the originals. I was able to see not only Cézanne's work, but I also experienced the likes of Dali, Picasso, Renoir, Van Gogh, and Matisse. 

I don't understand art the way artists do, but I appreciate it. I enjoyed the exhibit thoroughly. I'm very lucky to have had Phillip and Christine there to give me a personal tour. My time in France has been nothing but blessings. I'm anxious about getting back to real life back in the states, but I've got to keep growing.

Mardi, 11 Juin 2013: Naruto

Andréa's been coming to Aix a lot more lately. My departure in a little over a month might have something to do with it. Tonight, he took me out to dinner and we browsed the streets of centre ville until we found something that enticed us both. The restaurant we both agreed on was called Naruto. It's a Japanese restaurant located on Rue de la Verrerie--more infamously known as "Bar Street." That specific corridor is normally packed with partiers and only visited at night so we were more than surprised with our flawless meal. Everything was delicious! The fish was fresh! Dessert was obviously made in house and just before serving! Service was impeccable! And the price was more than fair!!! I highly recommend this little resto!!!

We each started out with our favorite Japanese beer

Then we were given a free appetizer--cold green beans with octopus in a creamy vinaigrette

Andréa's meal came with a salad

He chose meat skewers as his entrée which came with miso soup

I, on the other hand, chose a chirashi bowl--basically a bowl of sushi rice topped with various sashimi

For dessert, we decided to share the matcha tiramisu (green tea heaven)

My boyfriend makes odd faces when I take pictures of him. Can you believe he used to model? 

Lundi, 10 Juin 2013: Serge the Miracle Worker

Serge is a friend of my host family and chiropractor. My foot was still uncomfortable from the sprain and Andréa had neck pain so I made an appointment for the two of us today. No matter where your problem area is, Serge always adjusts every part of your body. The origin of your pain is sometimes due to another area in your body. My problem area is my pelvis and lower body where there is bad circulation. 

Serge treated my bad circulation like always and looked at my foot last. He took one gander at my left foot and said "Hm...It's still blue." Ha haha. He cracked all of my toes before got a good handle on my foot. He was careful not to touch the ankle area where I had torn my ligaments. He just distracted me with a question and pulled swiftly. It sounded like a hundred bones cracked in my foot! I was prepared for excruciating pain but to my surprise, it didn't hurt at all! Serge made me get up and walk and somehow, all of the pain and discomfort in my foot was gone! And I can walk normally!! I just don't understand how that works!!!

Andréa went in for his adjustments just after and he walked out feeling like a champ! No neck pain. Nothing! Serge is seriously a miracle worker. I've seen other chiropractors before and I never leave their office in awe. I left Serge tupperware full of eggrolls I had made earlier as a thank you. I'm considered a member of the family so he never takes money from me. I have to thank him somehow! Hopefully, he and his family liked them...

Dimanche, 9 Juin 2013: PART II: The Famous Cézanne Name

Paul Cézanne was a famous provençal artist from the 19th century. His work was studied by many other famous artists and influenced the likes of Picasso and Braque. He's probably the most renowned person to come from Aix-en-Provence. You see his name everywhere--restaurants, street signs, stores, schools, etc. Even my university was named L'université Paul Cézanne. Lucky for me, I had the chance of meeting his grandson Phillip Cézanne. Phillip is a good friend of my host dad's. I guess they were in business together when my host dad owned the vineyard way back when. The story's not too clear to me, but it doesn't matter anyway.

Tonight, I met Phillip and his wife Christine who is also super sweet. Phillip speaks all over the world about his grandfather's masterpieces so his English skills are spot on. I was able to ask him some questions about his famous grandfather but I was also able to ask some personal questions such as "Does it annoy you that your name is everywhere?" His reply, "Absolutely! No one even asks permission to use it!" Phillip recently went to a restaurant called Cézanne in Le Tholonet. They served a dish called "Salade Cézanne" which was uncharacteristic of anything Cézanne actually ate. I thought that story was kind of funny. 

Maman cooked some beef on the plancha for dinner and we spent the rest of the night drinking wine and chatting. I'm really blessed that my host parents are so cool. They have the most interesting friends!

Dimanche, 9 Juin 2013: PART I: The French and Taking Things Personally

We did our usual movie day today though we couldn't settle on anything good. Andréa got a call amidst one of the films--it was Damien. He was in a nearby burrough of Marseille and wanted to see what Andréa was up to. Surprisingly, he didn't come over. I haven't seen Andréa's friends since his falling out with Manon so I was curious as to why Damien didn't visit. Honestly, I told Andréa that I no longer cared for Manon after all of the drama between them. I just don't want to get mixed up in it. But I don't want him to keep his other friends at bay just because of her. And I don't want him to stop seeing his friends just because he thinks time with me is running out. 

Once the discussion was over, Andréa asked me if I wanted to see Damien. I thought about it for a second and said "Hm, no. He's not very interesting." Immediately, Andréa flipped a switch and was pissed. Okay, so...I was just curious about why he didn't come over. I wasn't begging to see him. I said that he wasn't interesting, but that doesn't mean I don't like him. Recap: Damien is Andréa's BFF who is also super shy and gets up every time he's left alone with me, lol. He just can't ever make small talk, poor guy. Damien is super nice, but not very social. 

It annoys me when Andréa gets mad at me for being frank. People always get pissed off when you're blunt--because they know it's true. They take it the wrong way when it's about a specific person or thing so they feel like they need to be defensive. News flash, there's nothing to defend. It's a fact, not an insult. I decided to let it go because I had been light-headed all morning and was worn out. Andréa, however, decided he'd like to keep fighting. I avoided him like always because he's just too naive to understand that I wasn't belittling his friend. It doesn't matter what fashion you try to explain your reasoning, he always thinks he's right because of what he feels at the moment you say something. 

I got extra woozy as Andréa was arguing with me and went to the bathroom to puke. I, of course, didn't mention anything because I didn't want Andréa to feel sorry for me. I wanted to stand my ground. I'm the one that made the comment. I'm pretty sure I would know how I meant for it to be taken. Andréa needs to learn this on his own because I'm done trying to explain. If we aren't able to discuss things like how boring our friends are, then really, we have no business moving forward. It was just a conversation, not a complaint.  

Samedi, 8 Juin 2013: The Mysterious Best Friend

Let's get one thing straight. Andréa has a million best friends. He's the type of person that will call someone his best friend forever if they were ever close at one point and even if they no longer keep in touch. I'm the type of person that has a best friend in every city I've lived in, and I have different best friends for different periods of my life. Sure, there are some that I don't talk to for months and re-connect with, feeling as if we never parted. Those are my steady best friends, like my bro Ian back home or my girl Smokey who I went to college with. 

Andréa told me about his best friend Laura when we first started dating--probably because she was the only friend he had a picture of at his apartment. I kind of expected to meet her immediately but I met Manon, Jezebel, Damien, Benjamin, Nicolas, and Thomas first. Since Andréa and I have been together, he hasn't seen Laura at all. Apparently, this is due to scheduling problems on both ends. I finally begged Andréa to make it happen. I wanted to at least meet her before I leave France. If she's the best of his best girl friends then I would assume she would be invited to the wedding. It'd be kind of inappropriate if I only met her there, no? 

Anyway, Andréa invited Laura out last weekend but she said she couldn't make it because she was going out on a date. He invited her to dinner last night but she couldn't make it because her friend screwed herself over on an exam. I felt like all of these reasons were excuses not to see me so I made it known to Andréa that I lost interest in meeting her. Andréa told me that it's because Laura is just 'too shy.' Damn, I know I'm kind of intimidating but honestly, I'm really nice. I'm the type of person that will like anyone until they give me a reason not to like them. And avoiding me is almost a reason. 

I don't know what Andréa did or if Laura just ran out of excuses but she agreed to meet us for lunch today. I was dreading the meeting because I was afraid we would all just sit in silence since she's so timid. Surprisingly, she spoke--a lot. It was me that was quiet. I intently listened to the two of them converse. It's sure that they haven't been keeping in touch due to the constant exchange of updates. I like Laura a lot! She talks a lot of smack to Andréa which amuses me. She's also super intelligent and has her life in order, unlike another BFF of Andréa's. I really wish Manon would have invited Laura to Andréa's birthday like I had asked her to. I feel like Laura and I click much more than Manon and I. We're on the same wavelength. Maybe both of us being half Vietnamese has something to do with it. Anyway, I hope to see her again and I hope that she stays in touch with Andréa because Lord knows I can't keep the boy grounded all by myself!!!

Vendredi, 7 Juin 2013: Les Féeries du Pont

Andréa and I were permitted to leave early today so that we could take our time getting to the Pont du Gard--a prominent ancient roman aqueduct in Provence. Too bad we ended up stopping in Marseille and napping [through the entire night!] Luckily we'll have several more opportunities to catch the show. Anyway, the spectacle involves lights, fire, and fireworks. It's apparently similar to the Fêtes des Lumières in Lyon but more focused. Since I didn't see the show, here is a link to a great blog on the event. Julie is great at keeping  all of us expats in Provence up to date on what's happening. Be sure to add her to your circle!

Jeudi, 6 Juin 2013: Dr. Lottes

I barely slept last night due to the extreme discomfort in my ankle. In short, it hurt like a bitch!!! I wanted to be a hardass so I didn't ice or bandage my foot yesterday after my hooping accident. I'm the type of person that believes a little pain is good for your health. As a result, the injury swelled and I had a baseball on the side of my foot. I put a topical NSAID on the damaged area, took a Celebrex, and slept with my foot on two pillows while there were none under my head. Resting the injured extremity above the heart allows the swelling to drain away from it. Today, I only have a golf ball-sized modification on the side of my left ankle.

Day 1

I was still walking on my foot taking care of how much weight I put on it. It hurt a lot but I had to use it. I'm an au pair which means I'm still taking care of kids. I also drive a stick-shift so I needed my left foot to press down on the clutch. I hadn't planned on seeing anyone because I knew my foot wasn't broken, but when I woke up this morning, the wounded area was black and blue. I tried to suck it up but the slightest movement threw sharp pains up my entire body. After I took Gregoire to the creche, I decided I'd go see a doctor--just in case. I'm the type that tries to avoid medical care but everyone's concern made me paranoid.

Day 2

I decided to see if there were any English-speaking doctors in the area and searched on the expat site. Luckily, there were two. I decided to call Dr. Lottes whose office was in nearby St. Marc de Jaumegarde. I wanted to find an English speaker so that I could fully comprehend the diagnosis and treatment plan. Dr. Lottes is an American physical therapist who moved to France after retirement with his wife who is a radiologist. We did some x-rays and from the films, Dr. Lottes decided I had inverted ankle sprain. From the look of the tears, he could see that my foot was turned inward as my ankle was forced outward. According to Dr. Lottes, I had partially torn anterior talofibular as well as the calcaneofibular ligaments. Basically, I almost destroyed two of the three main ankle ligaments. Ew, I could've done without knowing. Nothing grosses me out except childbirth and injuries to myself. The doctor said that my ankle was seriously but not severely sprained so I should just be careful when walking. Fortunately, I have really strong bones so I didn't break anything. With Camille's own ankle and Baptiste's wrist injuries, we are almost a house full of cripples! Hopefully, we'll stop being so clumsy!

Mercredi, 5 Juin 2013: Hoop Accidents

Krystle made us lunch again today. She takes good care of me :-) We had gone shopping yesterday and she bought ingredients to make fried green tomatoes--one of my favorite southern dishes! We couldn't exactly find green tomatoes but there were some European black tomatoes. Krystle served the fried tomatoes with a hearty salad. I love her salads...Lunch was absolutely divine! Eating food like this really makes me miss home though. There are just some foods you can only do right in certain parts of the world, but Krystle is great at improvising. The girl's been living in Europe for 8 years.

The two of us went to the park afterward to take advantage of the sun. Krystle has Scleroderma which affects circulation in the body so we try to encourage each other to be outside. Her apartment is always so cold, even if it's scorching hot out. Being in warm surroundings generally helps lessen the effects of the disease. We often go to the park to hoop as we soak up some vitamin D. I got Krystle into hoop dancing recently and she's been quickly progressing as she has a lot of time to focus on it. I, however, basically stopped when I moved to France. I was never as dedicated as she was, but I knew a few decent tricks. Though I've been consistently hooping since I've been living in Europe, I've stopped doing tricks due to lack of interest. Krystle re-awoke the hooper inside of me though so I decided to pull out a few stunts. I decided to start out by jumping into the hoop as it was moving and my timing was completely off. Your timing should change with different hoop sizes and weights. I was cocky--thinking hooping was like riding a bike. News flash. It's not! My left foot hit the hoop as it was going around so I lost my footing. My foot slid off of the hoop and landed on the grass sideways with my ankle popping out of its socket. And boy, did I hear a pop!!! I immediately dropped to the ground in excruciating pain and laid there for a few minutes while holding a semi-cold can of Coke to my ankle. I'm surprised I didn't cry with how painful it was. Andréa met the two of us at the park soon after. I decided to leave the hooping up to Krystle and hang on the blanket with my boyfriend. I'm officially a retired hooper!!! I think I'm ready to pass my hoops onto the kids now...

Mardi, 4 Juin 2013: A Psych Ordeal

The triplets were at their dad's tonight so Céline, Didier, and I were able to talk privately about the kids. There have been so many issues with Camille lately that the parents wanted to bring me up to date. Céline and Camille apparently had an argument Sunday before I came home. I'm not sure what the dispute was about but according to everyone in the house, Camille's attitude had exploded. She's normally the snappy, head-twisting drama queen anyway, but she royally pissed off her mom this time--which is extremely difficult to do. Their argument ended up with Céline on the phone with Camille's birth dad. Céline asked Camille if she wanted to live with her dad and Camille stormed up the stairs bawling. 

Bonne maman apparently decided to diffuse the situation and went to talk to Camille. Armelle was very intelligent in getting Camille to open up. She started out by saying Camille...Is there something going on with you and your siblings?' 'Do you have a problem with Didier?' 'Are there any issues with Melinda?' 'Are you mad at your mom?' Camille said "no" to all of the questions except the last one which she answered with tears. At this point, Camille let it all out and said that Céline doesn't want her anymore, etc, etc. Céline always wants her kids to be with her. She loves and adores them no matter how problematic they are. But honestly, if one of your kids is constantly telling you that life is horrible at your house, wouldn't you consider allowing them to live with the other parent too? Even if it's just to see how it would work out? 

After the summary of Sunday's events, Céline decided to dig back a deep further and let me in on all of the issues she's had with Camille in the past. Camille had had episodes like this before--the hypochondria, the lying, and the horrible 'tudes. The incidents were so bad that Céline was forced to find a psych expert. At their appointment, Camille was told to go play with the toys while the doctor spoke to maman. At the end of the session, Camille was told to leave the room. The doctor explained to Céline that all of the dolls were laying at random outside of the dollhouse and that by the end of the meeting, Camille had put all of the dolls inside of the house in one room. According to the psychologist, Camille has a need to have everyone she loves together. It's obvious that the divorce between Céline and Anthony really hurt her. As a result of the people in her life being separated, she's turned to fishing for attention anyway she can. For example, faking sick. 

I really hate to compare but Camille really reminds me of my little sister. Amanda was always searching for attention as well. She was never "sick" but she was always physically hurt in some way or another and always needed to be cared for. She was also always the loudest one in each room and always tried to be the funniest. Just like Camille. As my sister got older, the way she dressed herself became more and more revealing. Oh no, she didn't show much skin. The tightness of her clothes were more suggestive. Camille is the opposite though. She tries to show as much skin as possible. Camille called me to her room the other day and asked what I thought about an outfit she picked out. It was a black spaghetti strap/daisy duke ensemble. I ended up telling her "tu sera une salope si tu les portes comme ça", basically 'you'll look like a slut.' Whew! The look on her face was priceless but I think I got the point across. Her sister was already telling her how tasteless the outfit was. It's pretty big for an 11 year old to say that!

I've got less than two months left here but I really hope that I can help improve Camille's outlook and demeanor towards others. I've already failed once though. I was away at college when my sister exhibited most of her teenage angst. My parents really didn't know what to do with her so they let her do what she wanted. My brother basically ignored her while his girlfriends tried to be her buddy, encouraging her destructive ways. Just as Camille's friends are encouraging her. I, however, tried to do everything I possibly could while working on my degrees 10 hours away. When my dad called me distressed at 6 am about my sister's behavior, I made sure to call the right people and get him what he needed. My parents always asked for help with my sister but after I would do all of the hard work, they would never follow through. Another problem that's similar to Camille's situation--follow-through. I tried to discipline my sister as much as possible but I was only home for summer and Christmas break so she of course always defied my authority. I tried the nice approach with Amanda and that didn't work out either. She just fought me on everything! And at that age, you feel like you already know what's best. Yes, I remember what it was like! I really don't want Camille to go down that road though. I love her and I can see that she has so much potential but she is seriously spiraling toward the same fate as my sister. At 15, my sister "attempted" to commit suicide when my mom yelled at her about her dirty room. Amanda landed herself in a mental hospital while I was home for Christmas break. At 16, she became pregnant with a guy she had been with for 3 years but never loved. Now she's a teenage mother with no money, no job, no stable home, and no family. My sister finally has that attention she's always craved. My niece will be depending on her for the next 18 years, at least. The stories Camille tell me everyday pertaining to drama at school and boys really remind me of my old conversations with my sister. I'm constantly thinking "are you really doing that?" Maybe some people really are fated to certain lifestyles, but I'm the type that believes your destiny can be changed. The only thing I can really say about my sister is that I didn't try hard enough. I shouldn't have cared that she was constantly pushing me away. I should have fought harder. And that's what I'm going to do with Camille. I'm not her sister and I'm not her mother, but I'm her nanny, and I think she deserves my effort.