Monday, May 20, 2013

Samedi, 4 Mai 2013: PART II: Flammes et Flots

Andréa and I headed to the beach after we dropped Gregoire off. The walk down was so romantic as the sun was setting at the same time. I could feel myself letting go and warming back up to Andréa tonight. Seeing all of the changes within him these past few weeks has led to the end of my resistance. Resistance of the relationship. The sunset was symbolic at this moment. 


The two of us had originally planned on eating at a restaurant with some of his friends but since some of them were broke so we all decided to get kebab and eat it on the beach. This was a much better idea I think. It was super cute! The six of us planted on a gigantic rock, with good, hot food, looking out at all of the beautiful lights. It was so laid back. It reminded me of hanging with my friends back home. Give me cool people, a place to sit, and some food...And life is good.


We all went to Notre Dame de la Garde afterward--a well-known church in the area. There was a festival going on in Marseille called Flammes et Flots which showcases a light show easily seen from the church. This was yet another celebration of Marseille as the European Culture Capital of 2013. I had been told by Liezl that the festival was pointless but we went anyway since we were already in Marseille. She was right though. It was basically just a bunch of candles lit in different patterns and fashions. I kind of expected more knowing that this was a celebration for all of Europe. Who knows how far people traveled to see it...


Andréa and I kind of stood off to the side and watched the lights alone. Yet another romantic moment. We left after about an hour of observing the lights. When we got home, Andréa and I somehow got on the subject of America again. Either the fact that I was leaving soon, or that he was coming with me. I'm not sure how it came about. He said that if we had no other choices, that instead of being separated, that we would get married. I started tearing up. If I hadn't stopped myself, I probably would've out-right cried. This exclamation really took me by surprise because I was just allowing myself to be his girlfriend again. I knew that he would never see me as anything less and that it hurt him everytime I told him we were just friends so I stopped pushing him away. I let myself feel for him again. The way I used to, with no holds barred. But I wasn't ready to talk about marriage again. Not so soon. Yes, I love him, I never stopped. And yes, I want to marry him, but not today. Someday. I don't want marriage to be our solution to stay together. It can't be that easy. And I want to do things right. Sure, it's slow and painful to go through all of that paperwork and research but what is a relationship worth if you don't have patience to put in the work? 

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