Monday, May 27, 2013

Jeudi, 16 Mai 2013: Baptiste Le Bête

I had quite a round of conversations in the car today. Léa, Camille, and Gregoire were all pretty much minding their own business and not causing too much trouble but Baptiste had a lot to say. He started out by joking around with me as he normally does, but then started asking me why HIS grades were so important to me. So the I asked him 'Well, what do you want to be when you're older?' He said 'I'm going to be a professional soccer player.' I replied with 'Okay. Do you think you'll be allowed to keep playing soccer if you're not making good grades in school?' Which he answered with 'No. You know that the headmistress and mom make me skip soccer practice when I don't do well. But when I finish school, I don't have to worry about grades anymore. I'm not going to be tested while I'm on the field.' Baptiste is right. He won't have to worry about history or geography while playing soccer, but I said to him 'Baptiste. Soccer is a game of skill and strategy. If you're going to be a professional soccer player, you need to understand the basics of those two subjects. Not only that, but the more you understand physics and geometry, the more you'll understand how to make the ball do what you want. I've watched you at so many soccer matches and you never get the ball where you really want it to go. Besides, if you're going to be world-renowned, you need to speak English. You have to give everyone a good interview and English is the language of communication. He looked at me with clarity and just said 'Okay, you're right.' 

After a few minutes of silence, Baptiste chimed in with 'Melinda, do you know why I'm mean to you sometimes?' I had a few obvious answers pop up in my head but I allowed him to finish his thought regardless. After a little pause, he said to me 'Do you know that every time someone asks you if we've learned English, you always say no?' So I said 'Well, yeah. It's true.' And he quickly comes back with 'No, it's not true at all. And when you tell me to do something, I always think back to that moment and it makes me mad so that's why I don't listen. Because you lie.' I thought to myself and figured maybe I could have been unfair. So I said to him 'Okay, give me ONE whole phrase in English.' His eyes widened as everyone stared at him. I was stopped at a red light so I was able to gaze at him through the rear-view mirror. Camille lost her patience and said 'Well??? If she's such a liar then say something in English.' When Baptiste realized all he had were prepositions he had learned earlier in the day, he put his head down and the rest of the kids laughed as Gregoire shouted "OH MY GOD!"--something he's heard me say hundreds of times.

I had to park the car to wait for maman since she was meeting us to take Camille to a rendez-vous at her new school. I guess Baptiste felt like he needed to get a last word in because the next thing out of his mouth was 'Melinda...What does "fuck you" mean?' Please believe that this boy knows EXACTLY what that phrase means. I gave him the literal meaning as well as the intended meaning. He shut up once I gave him the literal definition. 

Maman walked up soon after and took Camille to meet her new headmaster. I took Léa, Camille, and Baptiste back to the house where Andréa was napping. Céline said that the meeting would only take 15 minutes but the last time she told me that, I ended up waiting nearly an hour. I dropped the kids off at the house after they swore they would not wake Andréa up and headed back to town right after. The drive to the house and back took about 30 minutes and I ended up waiting an additional 20 minutes in the parking lot so it was a good thing I took the kids home--they were hyper anyway. 

When I arrived home with Camille, Didier had also just pulled up. He asked me how my time was with the kids as usual. And I told him the truth, as usual. This time though, there was only one focus, Baptiste. Papa ended up telling maman everything over the phone of course and when everyone was home Baptiste got a severe talking-to. Céline and Didier told him that he was ungrateful and that he shouldn't be so rude to me because I do so much for him and the family, etc. The parents tried to dig deep tonight because they just didn't understand why he had been defying my authority for the past week. They asked him 'Do you have something against Melinda?' 'No. Not at all.' 'Okay, then explain why you're being so disrespectful to her and using bad words?' I had to stick up for Baptiste at this point because he didn't say "fuck you" in a demeaning manner. It was humorous. It was still not okay with Céline and Didier though, no matter in what manner it was said. The parents eventually started yelling because Baptiste kept on trying to justify all of his actions. It wasn't the screaming type of yelling, but the stern talking-to type of yelling. He needs some discipline in his life anyway. I'm not sure he's getting it anywhere else. I felt bad when he started crying though. He apologized for his poor behavior later on. It's been over a week of disrespect and defiance coming from him so I hope that it's done after tonight because I can't handle much more of it. 

I ended up having a private conversation with Céline tonight. I've been trying to hold off on it because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I know how defensive I get when people say negative things about people I care about, and well, he's one of her children. We talked about how Baptiste never listens, never does his homework, and never takes his baths when he's told. Worst of all, he whines about everything and curses after a parent or I get pissed and tell him for the last time. I told Céline that 'out of the hundreds of children I've taken care of, Baptiste is the worst. I'm sorry.' She told me not to be sorry and that she knows he's difficult but if what I say is the truth, then it's just true. 

I only have about two months left here in France with these children and I want them to grow as much as possible--mentally. They think their homework is hard now, but they're going to be in middle school next year where no one will be there to hold their hand or help cushion the ride. These kids think that a 50% is good...I don't even remember getting anything below 100% when I was their age. The triplets also need to understand that if they don't do their homework or don't try to understand it, there will be actual consequences in 6th grade. They also need to learn to pay attention and listen to direction. I don't know about french schools, but when we would daze off in class back in the states, the teacher would embarrass us. The triplets should learn to do things the first time that they're told. That's it! They should realize the longer they put it off, the less they get to play, and the more they get yelled at. I don't know how else to explain it to them, but they just don't get it. And, by they, I still only mean Camille and Baptiste. Léa is the only one that makes an effort. I want to help these children succeed but everyone, including their birth father, needs to be on the same page with the rest of us. The kids are always blaming their failures on their father who says that grades aren't important for real life or their professors who they say don't actually teach. The triplets need to stop putting the blame on other people and take a real good look at themselves in the mirror. I can only say so much...

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