I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I didn't think it would make a difference, but seeing Andréa and knowing how much he needed me kind of changed things around. I still want to be just friends with him, but knowing that he can't live without me makes me happy. It's been less than 24 hours since I last saw him but I found myself in my car and on my way to Marseille today after my run.
I was surprised when I arrived in Marseille today, when I was stopped at a red light. Like I mentioned in past posts, there are a lot of beggars on the street. This time, there was a young boy going around to all of the stopped cars. When he got to my car, I shook my head "no" and kept looking ahead, yet he kept standing there. I had sunglasses on but I could see with my peripherals that he was making all sorts of sad expressions with his cupped hands held up. He started doing some sort of weird hand motion next that I couldn't decipher with my peripheral vision so I turned my head toward him. He was shoving his index finger in and out of his fist...I don't know if that's code for anything else in France, but in America it means sex. EW...I don't know why, but it seems like the Romanis spend twice as much time trying to hit me up for money. Do I have the word "rich" written on my forehead? Because I am far from that...
When I got to Andréa's apartment in my summery floral dress, he asked why I was so dressed up. My only reply was "the weather is beautiful." I could see in his head though that he was thinking of other reasons. I can tell Andréa is concerned about who I'm seeing when I'm not with him. Because we are technically speaking, friends with benefits, he knows that I can do whatever I want. When I told him I was at the park today, he asked "with who?" He's never cared about who I was with before. I really wish he had never found out about Mathieu because that was never going to turn into anything. The only thing it's turned into is a problem. Andréa will always be suspicious. Who is he kidding? He can't do friends with benefits. I feel like it's just not in the French DNA. All of my friends who dated the French guys here say that they all got really clingy. Maybe Americans are just really detached...Who knows? Maybe I can't do the friends with benefits thing either but I know that I'll at least try. I will continue to call him my friend until he says he can't handle it anymore. I want to try. Just to see if it'll make our relationship better.
I headed back to Aix after a few hours with Andréa. On my way back, I got a text message from the au pairs saying that they were cancelling our get-together due to everyone being on vacation elsewhere. Not so surprising. I was dreading going out anyway. But then I got a text from Krystle saying that Dana had "broken up" with her. Krystle and Dana were both in my french language class at Paul Cézanne. We all became friends at the same time and grew close to one another. Krystle and Dana were the closest of all. They were always together even during vacations. Knowing that, you could probably understand my shock today when I found out that Dana wrote Krystle an e-mail saying that she couldn't be around her anymore because she's too mean. Okay...It's true. Krystle is super mean but most of the time she's kidding. She's like me, she's super blunt and she gives you a lot of shit, but it's nothing that you should take personally. I can also see Dana's side of the argument though. I'm sure it could get old. Krystle is 8 years older than Dana though. I kind of just saw it as the older sister picking on the younger sister. It's going to be difficult trying to hang out with the both of them separately, but I'm sure I'll figure out a way to make it work :-/ Dana is heading back to Nebraska in a few weeks so I won't be able to see her afterward. I'm going to try to see her as much as possible before then.
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