I got to sleep in this morning. Maman took Gregoire and Camille to school while I stayed home with Léa and Baptiste who had their usual Wednesday off. The triplets are normally at their dad's house on Wednesdays but he's randomly unavailable when one of the kids has an appointment, so I take over. Today, Léa had a visit to the orthodontist. She was being prepped for braces on her lower teeth. She's already got the top ones wired. The visit was quick and there were no problems so we were out of there within about 15 minutes. I had planned on going back to the house afterward but it was just the two of us so I decided we'd take a walk around centre ville. I thought about all of the hard work Léa's been doing after the family meeting and all of the good grades she's been getting. Léa is the one kid that always listens to me so I figured I'd reward her for her good behavior. I took her to Le Cupcake to show my gratitude. She was so happy and enjoyed her "american cake" thoroughly. Le Cupcake is the only place in Aix that I know of that makes cupcakes.
My almond apple cupcake
Léa's raspberry cupcake
Baptiste was still in bed when we got home around noon. I did homework with the two kids while I made lunch. They had a lot of work in English so I decided to make it a competition. They were still on prepositions so I made them take turns as I asked the questions. "Is the dog on the table?" "No, the dog is not on the table. The dog is on the floor." The game got so heated that the kids started answering for one another if the other didn't answer quick enough. It's safe to say that they learned their prepositions well and even enjoyed the process. That's how I remember learning when I was a kid. I remember all of my teachers in Virginia knowing how to make learning fun.
Andréa joined us for lunch when he got off of work today. The four of us ate a romaine/red bell pepper salad with potato/ham salad in the middle. I'm not sure how but I forgot to take a picture. I really like being able to cook for the family. It's important to me that the kids eat a balanced meal.
Andréa, Léa, and I left Baptiste at home again while we went to pick up Camille and Gregoire. I'm not sure when it occurred but Andréa and Léa were joking around saying "non mais allô quoi." I asked them to stop repeating it because it irritated me, but of course they didn't. The phrase comes from a French reality TV star named Nabilla. She's on a show called "Les Anges de Téléréalité"--much like America's Jersey Shore which is currently being filmed in Miami, FL. If you've ever seen a Miami-based reality show, you'll understand what kind of people are on this show. The girl worships Kim Kardashian and isn't afraid to admit it. Nabilla's "allô quoi" is the equivalent of Paris Hilton's "that's hot." You're not really saying anything. You're saying 'No, but hello what?' And these kids use it for everything! When they don't want to do something, when they don't understand something, when they're trying to buy time...Though French adolescents think she's hilarious, the older generation is embarrassed that she's a representation of their people in America. There are hundreds if not thousands of online posts about Nabilla contributing to the lack of neurons in French youth. Here's a post in French and here's a post in English. I found those just by searching the quote. I'm telling you, the whole world is talking about how unintelligent this girl is--except for people who are completely oblivious--like Andréa and my kids. Can anyone understand why I don't want to hear it? Intelligence is extremely important to me and well, that girl is just a beautiful face with a fake pair of double D's. I don't want my kids growing up thinking that they can grow rich or famous by being an idiot. They're already aspiring to be celebrities...What happened to kids wanting to be firemen or teachers?
This phrase has been driving me up the wall ever since my host mom and little Gregoire started saying it too. I know that the international students laugh their asses off every time they hear someone say it and my friends and I talk about how pointless it is as well. I hate to sound completely paranoid but for as well known as our family is in this area, it bothers me. And EVERYONE knows these are my kids in this town. I get embarrassed. That's all! If we didn't know every Tom, Dick, or Harry and they didn't know us, I wouldn't care. I just hate being associated with things that lack brain waves. I know. It's overbearing of me, but that's just how I am. I want the next generation to be better than me--smarter, more capable, determined, and motivated. People are always saying "Kids these days..." Well, you can't just sit there and do nothing about it. I'm more of the hands-on type! Maybe I really am a control freak but when I was put in charge of these kids I was told to teach them, and to teach them well. That's all I'm trying to do. They're like my real brothers and sisters.
I started ignoring Andréa and Léa because they were getting on my nerves. I didn't feel like explaining to them again why the phrase bothered me so much. If they didn't listen the first time, they wouldn't get it this time around. They got the hint from the silent treatment. Léa followed me into Camille's school after I parked the car. She knew I was in a mood so she decided she'd try to understand what was going on in my head. Ever since I've been rewarding her for her good behavior, Léa's been making a big effort to be the girl I want her to be. She wants to be classy and intelligent, it's just so difficult with the examples being set by the kids around her. I explained everything to her and she seemed to understand, but then she said 'Melinda, it's just funny. I'm not going to be like her.' Then she followed up with this crucial question, 'Melinda, why are stupid people so rich?' 'It's because people like you make them rich my dear. They should be thanking you.' Since that episode aired, Nabilla has since trademarked the phrase. Basically, the girl gets a bump in her bank account every time someone says "allô quoi." She's been signed to IKEA for a new ad campaign but her fans are clearly not the ones buying furniture.
I got all of the kids and Andréa home just as Didier arrived from work. I made Andréa leave because I couldn't stand to look at him after he repeatedly challenged my stance with the kids. It's critical that I teach them something useful every day before I'm gone. I explained to Didier why I was ignoring everyone and he completely understood. Everytime someone said "allô quoi" he would just reply with 'What are you even saying?!?' And no one could explain to him what it meant. Everyone's reply was 'it's just funny.' Intelligence is even more important to Didier if you can imagine. It shows though. All of his kids are brilliant and successful--what I want the triplets to be. Gregoire hasn't had a chance yet, but Didier's 5 other kids achieved everything through hard work. The triplets don't even know what that means yet. They think 5th grade geometry is difficult.
Andréa texted me while I was talking to Didier and asked me to come outside. I assume he never left the neighborhood. He asked me to get into his car, so I did, and he drove us to the top of the hill where we normally sit on romantic nights. He basically went off on me and said that my expectations were too high and that he was just joking around with the kids. Sure, he can joke with the kids, but not with things that will rot their brain. I don't want him encouraging things like that where kids just jump on a bandwagon. I hate the phrase "everyone is doing it." It drives me up the wall! I basically blew Andréa off like I always do when we disagree so he drove me back to my house and said 'get out.' I gladly did so, but then he grabbed my shirt with a fistful of my hair and pulled me back in. I don't get it, when I say "go" I mean it. Apparently, he expected me to stay.
I didn't feel like arguing with him and I really didn't feel like talking to him if all he was going to do was justify his actions and tell me that I'm wrong. I'm the one "raising" these kids, not him. They're so impressionable. Is it wrong to want to influence them intellectually? To prove to them that they're capable of more? It's so crucial that these kids learn now what can help them succeed in the future. You build your habits at an early age, good and bad. I got out of the car when Didier came outside. Andréa didn't dare physically stop me with my host dad out there but he kept calling my name through his window. I forced the gate open and accidentally hurt Google's paw. I felt so horrible but I wanted to get back to the house as soon as possible. Andréa was getting pissed and Marseillans have the reputation of horrible tempers.
Andréa called my phone as soon as I got inside and I immediately hit the ignore button. He called again so I turned my phone off and left it on the kitchen counter. I went outside and sat on the terrace, relaxing and reflecting. A few minutes later, Andréa walked onto the terrace and asked to talk to me. I refused because I could tell he was getting more and more agitated, and wow, you don't want to see Andréa when he blows a cap. I've seen it twice already and that's too much for a five month relationship. I was focused on making sure Google's paw was alright so I wasn't really concerned with Andréa over my distaste of Nabilla's catchphrase. He stormed off of the terrace and threw our photo keychain at me. I didn't really care about having it so I threw it into the yard. Obviously, I bought it for him, not myself. Andréa was so upset that tossed it, but honestly, I'm not going to let someone disrespect me like that. And all over the silent treatment. That was all I had to do though and he blew a fuse. He came back up on the terrace, grabbed my arm, and dragged me out to the car. Andréa told me to get in so that he could yell at me privately. Uh, Allô quoi? I'm not stupid. This is when he opened the door for me and "guided" me in.
Andréa started the car and took off. I don't know why I didn't get out immediately. He was screaming at this point. I hate it when people do that. It's rare in my life as the people around me are normally zen. Andréa drove to Plan de Meyreuil, then to Gréasque, then Fuveau, La Basque and then back. He said that if I didn't talk that he would drive until midnight. At each town, he'd park the car and ask me if I was ready to talk yet and each time I wouldn't reply. He would then take off like he was a speed racer and drive recklessly. I think he was trying to scare me into talking to him, but it's difficult to do that to a girl who had an abusive mother. I just left my seat belt off. It didn't matter if he was doing 0 or 120 km per hour. I knew that if I was hurt because of him, he'd be forced to take control of his rage. The guy really needs a course on anger management. There were a few times where he stopped the car and just screamed at me, hitting the visor, the wheel, whatever he could besides me. No lie, it freaked me out, but I can handle a lot. I've had boyfriends get mad before, but this behavior reminded me of an ex that I will never speak to ever again. I was worried. I just closed my eyes and hoped for it to be over soon.
I eventually got sick of sitting in the car with a lunatic so I started talking when he pulled over in La Basque. He was being so childish that it made me laugh out loud. He was mad because he thought I was making fun of him, maybe I kind of was. Knowing that this was all because of a reality TV star's one-liner made it humorous. I told him that I'm sorry I don't like ignorant people, but I can't change that. I also told him that it was ridiculous he was this angry just because I stopped talking to him. I feel like I should have that right every once in awhile. Andréa just started bawling and asked why I treat him like crap. I guess I can see how I'm an awful girlfriend. Evidently, he would've happily left Aix if I had just walked him out to his car and given him a kiss. I felt bad when he started crying so I tried to take his hand. He kept on smacking my hands away but I don't get hurt easily so I just went ahead and grabbed him. He sobbed on my shoulder, I kissed him, and miraculously everything was alright. When he finally re-composed himself, he took off back toward my house. I waited until he seemed sane again before I said "Baby...You're a psycho." He abashadly cracked a smile and said "I know. You too." Hm...I can be pretty cruel by way of being bluntly honest, but I don't think anyone would ever describe me as psychotic. It still made me laugh.
We were almost back to the house when I saw Didier pass us in his car. Andréa stopped the car and I immediately got out. Papa was on the phone with maman as I walked up and he assured her that he had found me and that I was fine. I got into Didier's car without saying goodbye to Andréa and that's when the lecture started. He told me that I needed to cut the relationship with Andréa and that we are not a good fit. You know, I agree with him. We don't fit at all, but I love Andréa. Papa told me that he can't stop me from seeing Andréa and that he wouldn't, but that Andréa will not be going to the United States with me, and that's the end of that. I didn't try to fight him on any of it. Didier made a lot of good points. Not only does he know about every argument Andréa and I have ever had, but he also saw all of the drama outside of the house. He was beyond pissed when he saw Andréa force me into the car. To him, that's violent, and it is. I listened to everything Didier had to say and really considered it all. I thought it was really endearing that he came out to look for me. He's just like my real dad, except daddy would be waving his AK-47 at Andréa. My exes can attest to that, ha haha, and they were generally well-behaved guys. I spent the rest of the evening eating dinner with my host family. When the kids when to bed, maman and papa kept my wine glass refilled as we talked about all things Andréa. I assured them that I wasn't harmed in any way and that if it doesn't work out between us, it just doesn't work out. One thing's for sure though, Didier would never give his blessing unless Andréa saw a therapist about his anger issues. Andréa tells me everyday that we're going to get married so he better start searching for that psychologist soon. Apparently french guys have temper issues. I'm confident that Andréa can fix this though
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