Mercredi, 22 Mai 2013: "Non Mais Allô Quoi"

I got to sleep in this morning. Maman took Gregoire and Camille to school while I stayed home with Léa and Baptiste who had their usual Wednesday off. The triplets are normally at their dad's house on Wednesdays but he's randomly unavailable when one of the kids has an appointment, so I take over. Today, Léa had a visit to the orthodontist. She was being prepped for braces on her lower teeth. She's already got the top ones wired. The visit was quick and there were no problems so we were out of there within about 15 minutes. I had planned on going back to the house afterward but it was just the two of us so I decided we'd take a walk around centre ville. I thought about all of the hard work Léa's been doing after the family meeting and all of the good grades she's been getting. Léa is the one kid that always listens to me so I figured I'd reward her for her good behavior. I took her to Le Cupcake to show my gratitude. She was so happy and enjoyed her "american cake" thoroughly. Le Cupcake is the only place in Aix that I know of that makes cupcakes. 

My almond apple cupcake

Léa's raspberry cupcake

Baptiste was still in bed when we got home around noon. I did homework with the two kids while I made lunch. They had a lot of work in English so I decided to make it a competition. They were still on prepositions so I made them take turns as I asked the questions. "Is the dog on the table?" "No, the dog is not on the table. The dog is on the floor." The game got so heated that the kids started answering for one another if the other didn't answer quick enough. It's safe to say that they learned their prepositions well and even enjoyed the process. That's how I remember learning when I was a kid. I remember all of my teachers in Virginia knowing how to make learning fun. 

Andréa joined us for lunch when he got off of work today. The four of us ate a romaine/red bell pepper salad with potato/ham salad in the middle. I'm not sure how but I forgot to take a picture. I really like being able to cook for the family. It's important to me that the kids eat a balanced meal. 

Andréa, Léa, and I left Baptiste at home again while we went to pick up Camille and Gregoire. I'm not sure when it occurred but Andréa and Léa were joking around saying "non mais allô quoi." I asked them to stop repeating it because it irritated me, but of course they didn't. The phrase comes from a French reality TV star named Nabilla. She's on a show called "Les Anges de Téléréalité"--much like America's Jersey Shore which is currently being filmed in Miami, FL. If you've ever seen a Miami-based reality show, you'll understand what kind of people are on this show. The girl worships Kim Kardashian and isn't afraid to admit it. Nabilla's "allô quoi" is the equivalent of Paris Hilton's "that's hot." You're not really saying anything. You're saying 'No, but hello what?' And these kids use it for everything! When they don't want to do something, when they don't understand something, when they're trying to buy time...Though French adolescents think she's hilarious, the older generation is embarrassed that she's a representation of their people in America. There are hundreds if not thousands of online posts about Nabilla contributing to the lack of neurons in French youth. Here's a post in French and here's a post in English. I found those just by searching the quote. I'm telling you, the whole world is talking about how unintelligent this girl is--except for people who are completely oblivious--like Andréa and my kids. Can anyone understand why I don't want to hear it? Intelligence is extremely important to me and well, that girl is just a beautiful face with a fake pair of double D's. I don't want my kids growing up thinking that they can grow rich or famous by being an idiot. They're already aspiring to be celebrities...What happened to kids wanting to be firemen or teachers?

This phrase has been driving me up the wall ever since my host mom and little Gregoire started saying it too. I know that the international students laugh their asses off every time they hear someone say it and my friends and I talk about how pointless it is as well. I hate to sound completely paranoid but for as well known as our family is in this area, it bothers me. And EVERYONE knows these are my kids in this town. I get embarrassed. That's all! If we didn't know every Tom, Dick, or Harry and they didn't know us, I wouldn't care. I just hate being associated with things that lack brain waves. I know. It's overbearing of me, but that's just how I am. I want the next generation to be better than me--smarter, more capable, determined, and motivated. People are always saying "Kids these days..." Well, you can't just sit there and do nothing about it. I'm more of the hands-on type! Maybe I really am a control freak but when I was put in charge of these kids I was told to teach them, and to teach them well. That's all I'm trying to do. They're like my real brothers and sisters.

I started ignoring Andréa and Léa because they were getting on my nerves. I didn't feel like explaining to them again why the phrase bothered me so much. If they didn't listen the first time, they wouldn't get it this time around. They got the hint from the silent treatment. Léa followed me into Camille's school after I parked the car. She knew I was in a mood so she decided she'd try to understand what was going on in my head. Ever since I've been rewarding her for her good behavior, Léa's been making a big effort to be the girl I want her to be. She wants to be classy and intelligent, it's just so difficult with the examples being set by the kids around her. I explained everything to her and she seemed to understand, but then she said 'Melinda, it's just funny. I'm not going to be like her.' Then she followed up with this crucial question, 'Melinda, why are stupid people so rich?' 'It's because people like you make them rich my dear. They should be thanking you.' Since that episode aired, Nabilla has since trademarked the phrase. Basically, the girl gets a bump in her bank account every time someone says "allô quoi." She's been signed to IKEA for a new ad campaign but her fans are clearly not the ones buying furniture. 

I got all of the kids and Andréa home just as Didier arrived from work. I made Andréa leave because I couldn't stand to look at him after he repeatedly challenged my stance with the kids. It's critical that I teach them something useful every day before I'm gone. I explained to Didier why I was ignoring everyone and he completely understood. Everytime someone said "allô quoi" he would just reply with 'What are you even saying?!?' And no one could explain to him what it meant. Everyone's reply was 'it's just funny.' Intelligence is even more important to Didier if you can imagine. It shows though. All of his kids are brilliant and successful--what I want the triplets to be. Gregoire hasn't had a chance yet, but Didier's 5 other kids achieved everything through hard work. The triplets don't even know what that means yet. They think 5th grade geometry is difficult.

Andréa texted me while I was talking to Didier and asked me to come outside. I assume he never left the neighborhood. He asked me to get into his car, so I did, and he drove us to the top of the hill where we normally sit on romantic nights. He basically went off on me and said that my expectations were too high and that he was just joking around with the kids. Sure, he can joke with the kids, but not with things that will rot their brain. I don't want him encouraging things like that where kids just jump on a bandwagon. I hate the phrase "everyone is doing it." It drives me up the wall! I basically blew Andréa off like I always do when we disagree so he drove me back to my house and said 'get out.' I gladly did so, but then he grabbed my shirt with a fistful of my hair and pulled me back in. I don't get it, when I say "go" I mean it. Apparently, he expected me to stay. 

I didn't feel like arguing with him and I really didn't feel like talking to him if all he was going to do was justify his actions and tell me that I'm wrong. I'm the one "raising" these kids, not him. They're so impressionable. Is it wrong to want to influence them intellectually? To prove to them that they're capable of more? It's so crucial that these kids learn now what can help them succeed in the future. You build your habits at an early age, good and bad. I got out of the car when Didier came outside. Andréa didn't dare physically stop me with my host dad out there but he kept calling my name through his window. I forced the gate open and accidentally hurt Google's paw. I felt so horrible but I wanted to get back to the house as soon as possible. Andréa was getting pissed and Marseillans have the reputation of horrible tempers. 

Andréa called my phone as soon as I got inside and I immediately hit the ignore button. He called again so I turned my phone off and left it on the kitchen counter. I went outside and sat on the terrace, relaxing and reflecting. A few minutes later, Andréa walked onto the terrace and asked to talk to me. I refused because I could tell he was getting more and more agitated, and wow, you don't want to see Andréa when he blows a cap. I've seen it twice already and that's too much for a five month relationship. I was focused on making sure Google's paw was alright so I wasn't really concerned with Andréa over my distaste of Nabilla's catchphrase. He stormed off of the terrace and threw our photo keychain at me. I didn't really care about having it so I threw it into the yard. Obviously, I bought it for him, not myself. Andréa was so upset that tossed it, but honestly, I'm not going to let someone disrespect me like that. And all over the silent treatment. That was all I had to do though and he blew a fuse. He came back up on the terrace, grabbed my arm, and dragged me out to the car. Andréa told me to get in so that he could yell at me privately. Uh, Allô quoi? I'm not stupid. This is when he opened the door for me and "guided" me in. 

Andréa started the car and took off. I don't know why I didn't get out immediately. He was screaming at this point. I hate it when people do that. It's rare in my life as the people around me are normally zen. Andréa drove to Plan de Meyreuil, then to Gréasque, then Fuveau, La Basque and then back. He said that if I didn't talk that he would drive until midnight. At each town, he'd park the car and ask me if I was ready to talk yet and each time I wouldn't reply. He would then take off like he was a speed racer and drive recklessly. I think he was trying to scare me into talking to him, but it's difficult to do that to a girl who had an abusive mother. I just left my seat belt off. It didn't matter if he was doing 0 or 120 km per hour. I knew that if I was hurt because of him, he'd be forced to take control of his rage. The guy really needs a course on anger management. There were a few times where he stopped the car and just screamed at me, hitting the visor, the wheel, whatever he could besides me. No lie, it freaked me out, but I can handle a lot. I've had boyfriends get mad before, but this behavior reminded me of an ex that I will never speak to ever again. I was worried. I just closed my eyes and hoped for it to be over soon. 

I eventually got sick of sitting in the car with a lunatic so I started talking when he pulled over in La Basque. He was being so childish that it made me laugh out loud. He was mad because he thought I was making fun of him, maybe I kind of was. Knowing that this was all because of a reality TV star's one-liner made it humorous. I told him that I'm sorry I don't like ignorant people, but I can't change that. I also told him that it was ridiculous he was this angry just because I stopped talking to him. I feel like I should have that right every once in awhile. Andréa just started bawling and asked why I treat him like crap. I guess I can see how I'm an awful girlfriend. Evidently, he would've happily left Aix if I had just walked him out to his car and given him a kiss. I felt bad when he started crying so I tried to take his hand. He kept on smacking my hands away but I don't get hurt easily so I just went ahead and grabbed him. He sobbed on my shoulder, I kissed him, and miraculously everything was alright. When he finally re-composed himself, he took off back toward my house. I waited until he seemed sane again before I said "Baby...You're a psycho." He abashadly cracked a smile and said "I know. You too." Hm...I can be pretty cruel by way of being bluntly honest, but I don't think anyone would ever describe me as psychotic. It still made me laugh. 

We were almost back to the house when I saw Didier pass us in his car. Andréa stopped the car and I immediately got out. Papa was on the phone with maman as I walked up and he assured her that he had found me and that I was fine. I got into Didier's car without saying goodbye to Andréa and that's when the lecture started. He told me that I needed to cut the relationship with Andréa and that we are not a good fit. You know, I agree with him. We don't fit at all, but I love Andréa. Papa told me that he can't stop me from seeing Andréa and that he wouldn't, but that Andréa will not be going to the United States with me, and that's the end of that. I didn't try to fight him on any of it. Didier made a lot of good points. Not only does he know about every argument Andréa and I have ever had, but he also saw all of the drama outside of the house. He was beyond pissed when he saw Andréa force me into the car. To him, that's violent, and it is. I listened to everything Didier had to say and really considered it all. I thought it was really endearing that he came out to look for me. He's just like my real dad, except daddy would be waving his AK-47 at Andréa. My exes can attest to that, ha haha, and they were generally well-behaved guys. I spent the rest of the evening eating dinner with my host family. When the kids when to bed, maman and papa kept my wine glass refilled as we talked about all things Andréa. I assured them that I wasn't harmed in any way and that if it doesn't work out between us, it just doesn't work out. One thing's for sure though, Didier would never give his blessing unless Andréa saw a therapist about his anger issues. Andréa tells me everyday that we're going to get married so he better start searching for that psychologist soon. Apparently french guys have temper issues. I'm confident that Andréa can fix this though

Mardi, 21 Mai 2013: Hair Catastrophe

I've been wanting to chop a bit of my hair off for awhile now. You always know when you're due for a trim when you feel your hair fighting against the brush. I don't get many split ends but when I do, it's annoying. So, today when I came home, I asked maman to cut my hair. She's got four kids so she's used to it. I found a decent pair of semi-sharp scissors and she got right to it. My hair is long and there's no layering so all she had to do was cut straight across.

After Céline nicked off 2 inches I was happy. Camille had been eyeing me the whole time and once maman finished with me, she begged her to cut hers as well. I don't understand why because she hates having short hair and her hair is already too short for her own liking. Céline agreed to cut her hair. Maman was getting ready to brush Camille's with my brush but I stopped her before she reached it. I just screamed "Maman! Les poux!" She realized that it was my brush in her hand but replied with 'Don't worry, she doesn't have lice anymore. Or at least I don't think so.' But she still lifted up Camille's hair and there we both saw in plain sight, a head infested with lice. It was so disgusting!!! Everyone always says "a head full of lice" but I've never actually seen a head full of lice, until now. I thought it was bad before but she had multiple eggs on each strand of hair and you could actually see the lice crawling on her scalp. Again, I've never seen that in my life! Maman was so grossed out that she just dropped the hair, scissors, and brush to run inside and wash her hands. She refused to touch Camille's hair after that. So Camille asked me to cut her hair. I refused because I only do minor trims--mostly on myself.

I figured the lice infestation was a good reason to cut Camille's hair--without her knowing it. The only sure way anyone has ever gotten rid of lice is to cut them out. She kept on begging me to cut her hair and so I told her to ask her mom if it was okay. Céline gave me permission so I grabbed the scissors and waited for further instructions. I asked Camille where she wanted her hair to be cut. She motioned toward the middle of her neck. I told her that it was really short and she replied with 'Not really.' I decided to show her how short her hair would be on me so that she could see where it would fall. She glanced at me and decided extremely quick that that was where she wanted her hair to be so I started cutting. I cut one section off before Léa came up and told Camille that her hair was really short. Camille didn't believe her so we took a picture to show her. 

Camille looked at the picture and immediately started crying. She turned to me with tears in her eyes and said 'But Melinda! I told you I wanted it to be here!' pointing to the middle of her neck. Léa just starts cackling and says 'That's where she cut it, you idiot.' Camille started feeling around and sure enough, where her hand sat was where her new hair fell. She starts bawling at his point and goes to her mom. Céline just told her that it was her fault because everyone refused but she begged and that I only did what she asked me to do. She stormed up to her room at this point and slammed the door.

I felt really bad because I honestly should have cut less knowing how fickle she is. I also know that she adores her "long" hair but she begged and begged. At least I cut out a ton of lice and eggs. We should have just cut the rest off but she decided to leave her it like that, keeping the rest of her precious, dirty "long" hair.  She hates having short hair because it makes her look young. Well, I'm sorry to break it to her but she's a kid. Camille tied it up in a pony-tail so that no one would notice at school. When someone saw the difference, she just said that it was all the rage in the Netherlands, ha haha. Of course no one believed her.  

Lundi, 20 Mai 2013: Sucrets

Today was yet another national holiday, another day of férié so I was still in Marseille with Andréa as my host family was off doing their own thing in Lyon. Andréa worked today even though the rest of the country was off. The two of us went to his dad's house afterward for lunch. I'm always extremely well-fed when I go to Pierre and Chantal's. Today Papa made fish soup, chicken curry with rice, and caramelized banana with rum sauce. 

Pierre and Chantal have a feisty little Pomeranian named "Sucrets" that I'm afraid of. I absolutely love animals but I was bitten by an old boyfriend's chihuahua so I've been weary of small dogs ever since. I've been to this house dozens of times but the dog always nipped at me when I tried to pet it so I just let it go. She kept coming around me today though and her attitude toward me wasn't hostile for once. I dropped my hand down to let her get my scent as I always did before. Instead of growling and showing her teeth, she licked my hand. I was scared but I carefully pet her and was shocked when she closed her eyes with satisfaction. I thought this dog would always hate me.

After spending some time with his dad and step-mom, Andréa took me to another beach town called Sausset Les Pins. It was a nice Mediterranean village full of tourists unlike Carry Le Rouet where the parents live. In lieu of meeting the hoards of people, the two of us decided to re-visit it another time. After all, a beach is more relaxing when you aren't being trampled all over.

Dimanche, 19 Mai 2013: What Love Looks Like

Andréa and I spent a quiet evening in last night. We were watching TV when he got up all of a sudden. He didn't come back for awhile so I thought he was rearranging the apartment. After a few moments, Andréa came to me and said "Baby, I have a problem." I didn't really understand what the problem was until he started puking. I would have gone to the bathroom to "hold his hair back" but I know that when I'm sick I just want to be left alone so I let him do his thing and waited for him to come back. When he made it back out to the living room he was ghost white! He was swaying everywhere as if he was on the verge of blacking out. I was so worried but I had no idea what to do. We didn't know what the actual cause of the problem was! We had just eaten before the episode so we'll call it food poisoning.

I made Andréa lie down as I went to clean the bathroom. I sprayed disinfectant everywhere before I wiped everything down. I was about done when Andréa charged in and started puking again. He didn't make it into the toilet so all of the cleaning I had done was pretty much pointless. I'm sure the fumes didn't help his stomach though. 

When Andréa laid himself back down on the couch, I rested his legs on my shoulders for elevation. I wanted to increase circulation and get some blood back in his head. After he got some color back in his face, I rested his legs on the arms of the couch and went back to the bathroom for another round of cleaning. Every time I finished cleaning, Andréa came running back--projectile vomiting all over the doors, the floor, and the bathroom. I didn't really care about the barf. I wasn't grossed out at all. I just wanted to make sure he got whatever was making him sick out of his stomach. And I wanted to make sure the bathroom was clean each time he needed to use it. He must've yakked four or five times and I must've cleaned the bathroom twice as many times. 

Andréa had pretty much threw everything we had eaten up. After awhile he just passed out on the couch. I was on the verge of taking him to the hospital or calling for help so many times but something told me that he would it sleep off. So, I stayed busy. I organized his fridge and cupboards, washed all of the dishes, mopped the floor, hung the wet clothes up to dry, threw a new load into the washing machine, and cleaned the bathroom a million times. All while checking his pulse, putting my finger under his nose, and watching intently to make sure his chest was rising and falling but making sure not to disturb his slumber.

He eventually got up to go to his bed and I followed. I kept the lamp on all night so I could monitor him. I stayed up until 5h00 just watching him sleep, making sure he was still breathing. 

Andréa woke up early the next morning, recounting everything, but remembering he had no control. He remembered me cleaning the apartment, especially the bathroom he had repeatedly puked all over. He was embarrassed but it was inevitable. I was absolutely dead the next day. He knew it was because I stayed up all night making sure he was still alive. Andréa seemed really grateful. He could never again doubt my love for him. Love has no boundaries. Not even germs can block me ;-)

Samedi, 18 Mai 2013: The Godfather

I'm not sick often, or at least I wasn't before I came to France. But, with getting sick last night and it carrying on into today, I lost all interest in going the road trip to Croatia. We still got on the road, just Andréa and I under all of the thunderstorms. The two of us made it quite a ways down the road before we realized that everyone was driving like a maniac. I'm not sure why but when there's inclement weather in France, people drive even more idiotically. And they're already horrible drivers! It was when a blue car randomly decided to pull out in our lane and almost hit us that we both decided we wouldn't be going to Croatia. I was fine with that. I would rather stay safe. Car wrecks are unavoidable for the most part.

Andréa and I ended up going to lunch at his godfather's house the next town over. I met his godfather/uncle--Jean-Luc, his wife Claudine, and cousin Alexi for the first time. I also met their two huge and very old dogs Moose and Tika. They are all so sweet, charming, and hospitable! I felt welcome immediately. We all got to know each other over lunch. Andréa's godfather is an entrepreneur and works between Europe and the U.S. so we discussed Andréa's future move, what was to be expected, and what should happen overall. His godfather told him that he should move to the states for himself and that he shouldn't expect me to help him and that he should make the effort on his own. I completely agree with him. I got myself to France with help from no one, I knew no one, and I made it work. I want Andréa to prove to me that he can do it all on his own. It's kind of a test to make sure that we're on the same level, that we're both capable of anything as long as we put our minds to it. 

Andréa's cousin Alexi who is our age played high inquisitor. It was so cute how concerned and curious he was about our relationship. I was happy to answer all of his questions and he sure had a lot of them! Ha haha. Though all of the deep discussion though, I was really enjoying my lunch. Claudine made a type of risotto with braised beef as the entrée while Andréa bought a St. Tropezian ice cream cake for dessert. 

 

I completely fell in love with this family! I wish I had met them sooner. They all have this friendly, optimistic demeanor which is so contagious! They're the type of people that make you smile whenever they smile. And this family smiles all the time! It's the genuine type of contentment that makes you unashamed to beam. Their dogs were just like them too! Loving and loveable!!! I can't wait to see this family again!

Vendredi, 17 Mai 2013: Road Trip

Here's what was supposed to happen today. I was supposed to get on a Ryan Air flight to Croatia to "re-new" my visa. My student visa expires on the 20th of May so I was supposed to hop to a non-Schengen region before the expiration and return afterward on a tourist visa. The tourist visa would allow me to stay for an additional 90 days in the Schengen zone (France, Italy, Spain, etc...) It just so happened that this weekend, Europe had one of the biggest storms it's seen in some time. Since Ryan Air is a discount airline, their safety rules and regulations are different. If they see trouble weather, they cancel flights. And that's exactly what happened to mine. It turns out my friend Hans' Ryan Air flight to Sweden was cancelled as well. So neither one of us was able to jet to our destinations. He decided he'd just stay in Germany. I tried to see if I could get on an earlier flight yesterday but I lost all enthusiasm when I saw all of the delays, cancellations, and warnings on the Marseille-Provence Airport website. I was extremely bummed especially since I had a CouchSurfing host already and had planned outings with locals.

I had been texting Andréa and Maman all morning, keeping them up to date on my travel status. They both knew that I was worried and frustrated so they both tried to come up with other solutions. Céline put extra money in my account so that I could buy a potential ticket to Morocco--which is not in the Schengen region. Andréa did something I didn't expect though. He offered to drive me to Croatia! The trip was about 11 hours which is nothing for me. I could've driven the whole way there and back alone. My alma mater, Ball State University, was 10 hours away from my hometown and I often made that drive on weekends just to see my friends, family, or to show my mid-western friends around. I figured a road trip would be a lot of fun! I would get to see Italy and Slovenia by car, which really intrigued me. Andréa told me that Momo was coming with us so I decided to make our group a four-some by inviting my buddy Mark. A single text later, he was in and our group was complete. I just thought it was so sweet that all of the guys were basically going on this long roadie just to make sure I'd be staying in France legally. I'm sure they saw adventure as well ;-)

When Andréa got home from work that day, I made sure to give him a huge hug for keeping my best interest at heart. The two of us spent some good, quality time together before we took off for a soccer match he organized between his co-workers. The game was at a different vicinity this time. It was much closer and much larger than the one we're used to playing at. I watched with Chris' girlfriend Alicia and brother from the sidelines for about 2 hours before I froze like a popsicle. This terrain was outdoors. I tried to stay outside as long as possible but the three of us started shivering so badly that we waited inside the car. The game was in a 30 minute overtime. Not because of a tie, but because the guys didn't want to stop playing yet. Once in the car with the heat, I still didn't stop shaking. It was definite. I started to feel a little flutter in my heart and I know that when I tremor like that, I'm getting sick...

The game finally ended around 22h30 and everyone went inside to pay their tabs. The doors to the main room were wide open and there was cold air blowing in. I was still quivering at this point so as soon as Andréa paid up, I asked if we could go. He kept on assuring me that we would leave right away but we ended up sitting down with Momo, his stepdad's nephew, and another co-worker and just talked about work issues. I just sat there patiently--mainly because I was shaking so hard I could barely talk. About 30 minutes later I'm at the point where I can't bear it anymore and I beg Andréa to go home, but this time, I admitted to being sick. We were on our way back to the apartment within minutes. We stopped for kebabs with Momo which we ate at Andréa's. Sure enough, when we got home, I had a sore throat, was sneezing, and ran a fever. 

"For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction." I guess even Andréa's good deeds need a complimentary mishap :-/

Jeudi, 16 Mai 2013: Baptiste Le Bête

I had quite a round of conversations in the car today. Léa, Camille, and Gregoire were all pretty much minding their own business and not causing too much trouble but Baptiste had a lot to say. He started out by joking around with me as he normally does, but then started asking me why HIS grades were so important to me. So the I asked him 'Well, what do you want to be when you're older?' He said 'I'm going to be a professional soccer player.' I replied with 'Okay. Do you think you'll be allowed to keep playing soccer if you're not making good grades in school?' Which he answered with 'No. You know that the headmistress and mom make me skip soccer practice when I don't do well. But when I finish school, I don't have to worry about grades anymore. I'm not going to be tested while I'm on the field.' Baptiste is right. He won't have to worry about history or geography while playing soccer, but I said to him 'Baptiste. Soccer is a game of skill and strategy. If you're going to be a professional soccer player, you need to understand the basics of those two subjects. Not only that, but the more you understand physics and geometry, the more you'll understand how to make the ball do what you want. I've watched you at so many soccer matches and you never get the ball where you really want it to go. Besides, if you're going to be world-renowned, you need to speak English. You have to give everyone a good interview and English is the language of communication. He looked at me with clarity and just said 'Okay, you're right.' 

After a few minutes of silence, Baptiste chimed in with 'Melinda, do you know why I'm mean to you sometimes?' I had a few obvious answers pop up in my head but I allowed him to finish his thought regardless. After a little pause, he said to me 'Do you know that every time someone asks you if we've learned English, you always say no?' So I said 'Well, yeah. It's true.' And he quickly comes back with 'No, it's not true at all. And when you tell me to do something, I always think back to that moment and it makes me mad so that's why I don't listen. Because you lie.' I thought to myself and figured maybe I could have been unfair. So I said to him 'Okay, give me ONE whole phrase in English.' His eyes widened as everyone stared at him. I was stopped at a red light so I was able to gaze at him through the rear-view mirror. Camille lost her patience and said 'Well??? If she's such a liar then say something in English.' When Baptiste realized all he had were prepositions he had learned earlier in the day, he put his head down and the rest of the kids laughed as Gregoire shouted "OH MY GOD!"--something he's heard me say hundreds of times.

I had to park the car to wait for maman since she was meeting us to take Camille to a rendez-vous at her new school. I guess Baptiste felt like he needed to get a last word in because the next thing out of his mouth was 'Melinda...What does "fuck you" mean?' Please believe that this boy knows EXACTLY what that phrase means. I gave him the literal meaning as well as the intended meaning. He shut up once I gave him the literal definition. 

Maman walked up soon after and took Camille to meet her new headmaster. I took Léa, Camille, and Baptiste back to the house where Andréa was napping. Céline said that the meeting would only take 15 minutes but the last time she told me that, I ended up waiting nearly an hour. I dropped the kids off at the house after they swore they would not wake Andréa up and headed back to town right after. The drive to the house and back took about 30 minutes and I ended up waiting an additional 20 minutes in the parking lot so it was a good thing I took the kids home--they were hyper anyway. 

When I arrived home with Camille, Didier had also just pulled up. He asked me how my time was with the kids as usual. And I told him the truth, as usual. This time though, there was only one focus, Baptiste. Papa ended up telling maman everything over the phone of course and when everyone was home Baptiste got a severe talking-to. Céline and Didier told him that he was ungrateful and that he shouldn't be so rude to me because I do so much for him and the family, etc. The parents tried to dig deep tonight because they just didn't understand why he had been defying my authority for the past week. They asked him 'Do you have something against Melinda?' 'No. Not at all.' 'Okay, then explain why you're being so disrespectful to her and using bad words?' I had to stick up for Baptiste at this point because he didn't say "fuck you" in a demeaning manner. It was humorous. It was still not okay with Céline and Didier though, no matter in what manner it was said. The parents eventually started yelling because Baptiste kept on trying to justify all of his actions. It wasn't the screaming type of yelling, but the stern talking-to type of yelling. He needs some discipline in his life anyway. I'm not sure he's getting it anywhere else. I felt bad when he started crying though. He apologized for his poor behavior later on. It's been over a week of disrespect and defiance coming from him so I hope that it's done after tonight because I can't handle much more of it. 

I ended up having a private conversation with Céline tonight. I've been trying to hold off on it because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I know how defensive I get when people say negative things about people I care about, and well, he's one of her children. We talked about how Baptiste never listens, never does his homework, and never takes his baths when he's told. Worst of all, he whines about everything and curses after a parent or I get pissed and tell him for the last time. I told Céline that 'out of the hundreds of children I've taken care of, Baptiste is the worst. I'm sorry.' She told me not to be sorry and that she knows he's difficult but if what I say is the truth, then it's just true. 

I only have about two months left here in France with these children and I want them to grow as much as possible--mentally. They think their homework is hard now, but they're going to be in middle school next year where no one will be there to hold their hand or help cushion the ride. These kids think that a 50% is good...I don't even remember getting anything below 100% when I was their age. The triplets also need to understand that if they don't do their homework or don't try to understand it, there will be actual consequences in 6th grade. They also need to learn to pay attention and listen to direction. I don't know about french schools, but when we would daze off in class back in the states, the teacher would embarrass us. The triplets should learn to do things the first time that they're told. That's it! They should realize the longer they put it off, the less they get to play, and the more they get yelled at. I don't know how else to explain it to them, but they just don't get it. And, by they, I still only mean Camille and Baptiste. Léa is the only one that makes an effort. I want to help these children succeed but everyone, including their birth father, needs to be on the same page with the rest of us. The kids are always blaming their failures on their father who says that grades aren't important for real life or their professors who they say don't actually teach. The triplets need to stop putting the blame on other people and take a real good look at themselves in the mirror. I can only say so much...

Mercredi, 15 Mai 2013: La Tasca

Léa and Baptiste had no school and no lessons today. Maman had two orders for the kids...1.) Do your homework with Melinda until it's all finished and 2.) Ask her to help you make your cake for school. So that's what we did.

I was able to sleep in for a bit since Céline dropped Camille and Gregoire off. Around 9h30, I was fully awake and got down on some homework with Léa. Baptiste kept fighting me about school work so I texted maman about it and she made sure that he apologized for being a brat. He ended up not doing any homework anyway but he came down to help with the cake. I don't know how these kids don't know how to follow a recipe yet, but it was a doozy trying to get them to understand why the flour had to be level when you measured it. Oh well, at least they had fun making it. The cake turned out to be pretty decent.

I went to Marseille tonight to have dinner with Andréa. He was worried about not having enough time with me since I'll be leaving for Croatia this weekend. When I got to his apartment he was dressed in a suit. I was absolutely horrified because he didn't tell me we were going to a formal dinner. I was in my usual jeans, plain tee, and white jacket. As soon as he saw the look on my face he asked if he should change, ha haha. My expressions say a lot. He ended up wearing black jeans and a pink, collared shirt. That was casual enough. Remember people, he's French ;-)

Andréa took me to a restaurant called La Tasca. It's basically a tapas joint where all of the servers are guys. The place was magnificent! I thought the restaurant was dead because there was no one sitting in the beautiful dining room, which looked like this...

http://todosobremimarsella.wordpress.com/

I completely understood why the restaurant was empty as soon as we stepped onto the terrace. Every single table was packed out there. The gravel terrace was covered by a red tent awning, the entire area was lit by candlelight, and there was wax melted on the stone walls. It was absolutely beautiful with all of the candelabras, trees, and shrubs. Kind of a gothic style. I'm so happy that Andréa brought me there because I completely fell in love with the place. He can annoy me sometimes but he sure does show that he knows and loves me. 

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g187253-d785589-Reviews-La_Tasca-Marseille_Bouches_du_Rhone_Provence.html

http://claudiaetc.blogspot.fr/2011/08/des-tapas-au-coeur-de-marseille.html

I let Andréa handle ordering all of the food. For as much as we eat together, he's got to know what I like or would like to eat. We started out with a carafe of Sangria and soon after, our tapas came out. We had fried potatoes with aioli, ham with melon, arctic surf clams in a cream sauce, calamari, a cheese, plate, and I forget what else. It was all delicious as you might have guessed. I love tapas bars because you don't feel like you're eating too much or even too much of the same thing and you still leave satisfied. 

For dessert, we both had the raspberry lychee pana cotta. It was absolutely divine!!! Andréa loves making pana cotta so this is one recipe he'll have to figure out! If he succeeds, I will totally re-consider marrying him sooner ;-)

After doing some online research, it turns out the La Tasca is a worldwide chain. It's based in the U.K. but the restaurants are spread throughout Europe and the United States. The closest one to my hometown is 2 hours away in D.C. I'm not sure if they have the same decor on their terrace grounds. Google isn't dishing out any photos of a romantic, outdoor dining area but there's only one sure way to find out. I'll let you know how it is when I make it back to the states!

Mardi, 14 Mai 2013: Parc de la Moline

I went to Marseille today after all of my housework. Andréa asked me what I wanted to do. My only request was that we take advantage of the good weather outdoors. He said he knew just where to take me! The park! We stopped at Paul's for some snacks and drinks. Though I had already eaten, Andréa had just gotten off work. Another customer was screaming into his phone as Andréa walked out to the car where I was waiting. Two gendarmes walked by just before. I wonder why they didn't do anything. That guy seriously popped a cap.

The park was pretty big though there were no gardens really. It was pretty much a big, open grassy enclosed area. I thought it was bland, but I guess it served its purpose. The two of us showed up during a bridal photo shoot. The style wasn't indicative of traditional French fashion with the clear, stripper heels and Mantilla veil. It was obviously a faux shoot. Just some of the hundreds of aspiring models and photographers throwing random stuff together in Marseille. 

Andréa threw down a towel and inhaled his sandwich while the ants ended up claiming my tropical drink. I planted myself on one end of the towel and let my tired boyfriend lay his head in my lap. 

All in all it was a good, relaxing day. Andréa and I watched a class of kindergartners go on a scavenger hunt. They were super cute kids who seemed to listen to everything their teacher said. I made sure to take down a few mental notes for the triplets and Greg. Maybe if I make everything into a competition they'll be more likely to listen...Nah, probably not!

Lundi, 13 Mai 2013: Sibling Rivalry

Today was an ordinarily good day. I did my usual housework and pretty much spent the rest of the day reading. My ordinary day turned into hectic once I picked up the kids though. Camille put herself in the front seat as always since she's the first one to be picked up. When Léa and Baptiste got out of school, Baptiste tried to beat Camille into the front seat for once. She shoved him out of the way and told him that it was her spot. He ended up telling her that she was a "connasse" and started provoking her. Baptiste told Camille that she was a snob, and that she had no friends because of this or that, that she was a know-it-all but gets crappy grades, etc...She ended up fighting back with little tidbits that rubbed him the wrong way. SO wrong that he punched her from the back seat. When Baptiste tried to sock her again I chimed in and grabbed his fist. Baptiste about climbed into the front seat to kick Camille because she had been so demeaning, but I blocked him from crossing over as I was driving.

Didier asked how the car drive was, as he does everyday. The story was the same as it always is. "Camille and Baptiste fought." I decided to give Didier my honest opinion about the situation. Those two fight every single day and it always comes down to blows so I told Didier that the next time they're like that, that I'm just going to stop the car and make them get out and fight. Though he would never let his children physically fight with each other, he thought it was a good idea. I even talked to Céline about it and she also agreed. My little brother and I hit each other while we were growing up, but it was only if we were seriously pissed about something the other did. Our parents never stopped us and once we got it out of our system, everything was good between us once again. I feel like Camille and Baptiste just need to get it over with. Am I wrong about this? 

Dimanche, 12 Mai 2013: "Today I Don't Feel Like Doin' Anything"

"I just wanna lay in my bed..." Bruno Mars sang it best ;-) 

Yep folks. Today was a bed day. In lieu of sleeping or staring at the wall, I decided to StumbleUpon something new. The first page I was taken to completely restored my faith in humanity. Please take a look and hopefully it'll light something within you too...Click here!!!

Samedi, 11 Mai 2013: Colorado Provençal

Momo came over early this morning. He and Andréa worked on provisions for lunch while I tried to find the right thing to wear for our hike. Today was the visit to Provençe's "Colorado." It took about 2 hours for us to get to the area. The scenic route took us through small villages and rocky passages. We were on one road called "Routes des Chateaux" which promises lots of small castles and wine caves. I'll have to come back to that later! 

When we arrived at the location it looked like any other forest parking/picnic area. There was no entrance fee for the trails but if you want to park your car it costs 4 euro. Andréa, Momo, and I threw on our backpacks and started the trek. Andréa asked Momo and I if we wanted to do the 1, 2, or 3 hour trail. Momo and I independently decided on the longest one. The three of us looked at the map together and agreed on a trail. I was hoping for something more like 8 hours roundtrip which is the norm at home. The first designated area we came across was okay. Clay hills, nothing I had never seen before. For some reason, I expected the formations to be much bigger--Colorado-sized. 

After the first stop, we were on the trails again. They were starting to get more difficult as they were going up-hill. We had been following the red trail since the beginning and I saw a sign for "belvédère" on an extension of the trail up ahead. The word means 'scenic view' so of course I was heading for it especially since it was on the red circuit. Andréa stopped me while I was halfway up there and told me that we were turning right to follow the trail signs put up by the tourist office--ATC. I got irritated because we had collaboratively decided we were going to take the long route--the red route. Not only that but a tree next to the ATC sign had all of the trails marked by color in X's meaning that once you fall into the tourist trap--you'll no longer be following any of the circuits...Meaning in whatever manner you'll be "hiking", it'll be more of a walk. I tried to explain this to Andréa but he wouldn't let me get a word in and he kept on insisting that we follow the signs because that's what the park ranger told us to do. I kept on thinking in my head "God, this kid has never hiked in his life." He was set on his decision even though I wanted to go see the belvédère which he insisted we would see it on our way back. I took off in the direction that he pointed while huffing and puffing. I knew this was wrong. I didn't come out today to walk on leveled grounds...That's for wusses! I'm a damn hiker!!!

Instead of walking at a leisurely pace and staying with the group, I marched on like I normally would with my friends from home. The guys tried to keep up but they were so far behind I just didn't care. It was so obvious that we were on a tourist trap, it was packed with people! 

Andréa obviously knew I was pissed off. He told me that we could turn around if I wanted but honestly, we had moved so far ahead that I just wanted to keep going just to show him how idiotic his decision was. I was upset, yes. But I was under the impression that we were there for ME. So you can understand my irritation when it was Andréa who was calling all of the shots even after he asked Momo and I what WE wanted to do. It was a trip taken on MY behalf as well as Momo's because Andréa had already been there before. We got into a disagreement because Andréa says that I always have to be right. And yeah, I wouldn't open my mouth if I wasn't going to make an argument on facts. He should know that much about me by now. I know what I'm doing. I was born and raised in the Appalachian mountains. I've been hiking since infancy basically. Hiking is a bi-weekly ritual with my friends back in Virginia. Seriously, who does he think he's dealing with? Andréa lost his cool and yelled at me so I took off in the other direction. I wasn't in the mood. I was going to do the trail on my own because I wasn't going to let someone who has maybe hiked once in his life to tell me what's right or wrong. As I passed Momo he grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go. The guy sure has a tight grip! He told me that I wasn't going off on my own, and yeah, he was right. You should never hike by yourself. So I turned back around, passed Andréa, and continued on the stupid tourist promenade. 

It was nice going off on my own because I didn't feel like I had to babysit anyone. After a good while, I stopped on the white dunes to see how far they were behind me. Boy, did they take forever or what! Andréa tried to talk to me but I wouldn't have it. I was content being alone but they told me to sit down for lunch. I didn't feel like arguing and actually, I didn't feel like speaking at all so I just found myself a log to sit on. The guys handed me food and water which I consumed even though I wasn't hungry. I decided to eat on my own so I took a walk around the white desert with my sandwich and tried to find some inner peace, ha haha.

I didn't stay mad too long. Hiking is therapeutic and calming though I did purposefully ignore Andréa. You just don't mess with my intuition.

We finished the supposed 3 hour hike in about 2 hours. When we got home I got online and searched for threads from hikers in the area. According to them, Andréa, Momo, and I missed a bird's eye view of the grounds, humongous natural tunnels, and caves. The hiking thread says that these formations are not listed on the ATC map because the organization wants to keep the formations from being disturbed. 

http://www.flickriver.com/places/France/Provence-Alpes-C%C3%B4te+d%27Azur/Bouv%C3%A8ne/

http://www.everytrail.com/view_trip.php?trip_id=1635926

Ooh, the power of Google...Instead of being mad about making the trip all the way out there and seeing nothing, I just rubbed it in Andréa's face and told him I would go back out there with my other friends. You should see the look on his face when he finds out he's wrong. Luckily, Momo pestered him on the entire drive back to Marseille. Thank goodness I have him!!! 

Vendredi, 10 Mai 2013: Mort de Rire

The triplets didn't have school today due to another national holiday. Once I got home from dropping Gregoire off at the creche the triplets and I got down on some homework. We did a bunch of english, science, and math--stuff that I actually know. As for French history, well, I let them do that on their own. 

Camille had a doctor's appointment for a severe cough so I grabbed the kids and drove to centre ville around late morning. We met maman in front of her office and she took off with Camille while Léa, Baptiste, and I went off on our own. The three of us dropped off some movies we rented and then went on a search for some Nikes for Léa. She's been drooling over a pair of blue high-tops since winter. I discouraged her from searching because she only had 60 euro. There's no way you could ever get a pair of in-season Nikes for less than 100 euro--especially in Aix-en-Provence. After visiting the 5th shop, she finally got fed up. She and Baptiste had been fighting the entire time because he knew the search was futile. 

There must've been a tour coming through Aix that day because there were a ton of Americans lined around monuments with guides. One couple accidentally bumped into Léa, apologized, and my girl answered in english! I WAS SO PROUD!!! On the way back to meet Céline and Camille we ran into a candy shop where Léa decided her money was better spent on sweets. She bought 4 bags of candy--mostly Haribo and shared it with her brother, sister, and I. I ate about 5 pieces before I felt sick. Yeah...Still not a big fan of sugar...

Maman went back to work after the doctor's visit and I took Camille, her brother, and sister to her next appointment at the orthodontist. The visit was short, just x-rays. Camille's orthodontist came to me and explained the results since maman wasn't there. In short, Camille has a wisdom tooth coming in and it's already got a cavity. MERDE!!! How does that even happen?¿? She must have really fragile teeth. Anyway, she's going to have to get that taken care of before her braces are put on. The orthodontist glanced at everyone's bags of candy and followed the conversation with 'Et pas des bon bons Camille!' The other kids were getting ready to grab her candy from her but she had already eaten it all. I'd say the bag weighed about 6 ounces. EW!!!

I told the kids that if they were good during the visits that I would take them to the lake. Since everyone behaved, I drove the four of us out to Lac de Peyrolles and told Andréa to meet us out there with Momo after work. I had made all of the kids wear their bathing suits under their clothes and made us all a huge picnic before the doctor's visits. As the kids and I were walking onto the beach I saw a couple sitting in our spot that looked like Krystle and Sebastien. It turns out that it was them! I had meant to call Krystle all morning to see if she could get a ride out there but repeatedly forgot. Luckily, Sebastien wasn't working due to the férié and they independently decided to spend their day out there. Great minds think alike ;-) She knew it was my kids on the beach as soon as she saw all of the hoops we were carrying though, ha haha.

Andréa and Momo arrived not too long after and the 8 of us were a party! The guys took the kids off to play some volleyball and soccer while Krystle and I laid out. Having all of the guys there really worked out in my favor because they were all keeping the kids super busy. There was one guy for each of the kids. It was awesome! Free babysitters ;-) Krystle says that I made the guys' day by bringing the triplets. Unlike Krystle and I who wish to remain virtually childless, all of the guys are determined to have children in the near future. The joy on their faces was so obvious, it was kind of cute. I thought at one moment that the kids were going to break Momo's back because they all climbed and jumped on him. He didn't complain once and seemed like he actually had a good time. That was so endearing!

Krystle and Sebastien left when it got a bit chilly. I decided to pack up my caravan and go home as well. Andréa and Momo took Baptiste to his soccer practice while the girls and I picked Gregoire up from daycare. When we got home, Momo and Andréa arrived at the same time with some goodies. Variety packs of ice cream! Nom!!! The five of us spent the rest of the afternoon out on the terrace eating poorly. The parents arrived home not long after the guys brought Baptiste back from soccer practice. The kids were immediately scolded because they were still eating ice cream just before dinner AND they were eating it in the living room which I had repeatedly told them not to do. I kind of just left them to get yelled at because it was their fault they didn't listen, and by they, I mean Camille and Baptiste who are repeat offenders. 

I left with Andréa and Momo for Marseille soon after. Andréa and I had been invited to a pizza party at Sophie's house. Sophie is Andréa's friend Thomas' girlfriend who I absolutely adore. Not only is she super respectful, but she's smart and funny. By the time we got to Sophie's house it had gotten cold out. We were at the gate for what seemed like forever because no one heard the buzzer. I was tempted to leave so many times because I was shivering and really didn't want to sit around for some store-bought or delivered pizza. Little did I know, Sophie's family had a pizza oven--italian style. Once I realized Sophie didn't cheat, I was content. The girl knows how to do things right! 

The guys took turns making the pizzas while the rest of us waited to eat each one. It was fun to try out each person's creation and the wait was worth it. Benjamin made what looked like vomit on pizza dough, but my gosh, it was the most delicious pizza I had ever eaten. The boy knows what he's doing! He can make me pizzas anytime :-) 

Tonight was particularly interesting for me because I felt like Andréa's lesser known friends opened up to me. He had taken off for awhile so I had a chance to chat with everyone on my own. Once the more intimate conversations expired, everyone took turns speaking to me in English. It was adorable though I almost laughed out loud when Thomas was talking to me. He really didn't form any proper sentences and I didn't understand what he was saying at all but it was cute nonetheless. When Andréa came back, Benjamin started asking me about my Asian heritage and the wars that occurred in those countries. I didn't really understand his questions even though his English was much better constructed than Thomas', but the topic was kind of a killer so we just dropped it. 

When everyone finally mellowed out, this certain guy who had been silent all night decided to speak. It wasn't one of the friends of the circle, it was Sophie's brother's friend. Oh my, this guy was LOL worthy!!! First of all, he was dressed like a Harvard grad student so when he started spouting Steve Carrell-like monologues I died from laughing. It's so difficult to explain why he was so funny...You had to have just been there! The guy spoke franglais, went off on tangents, made his voice crack, changed the pitch, tone, and volume of his voice during the same sentence, and over-dramatized stereotypical french behavior. I couldn't contain myself, I laughed so hard I cried! I knew he was doing it on purpose because of how I was reacting. When I regained my composure, he went back to his normal voice and explained that once he gets started on something, he can't stop...And that's when he went back to the theatrics, lol. I had tears pouring out of my eyes again so I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. When I got back to the table, I asked Andréa if we could go home. The entire day with the kids including the funny guy just really wore me out. As we said our goodbyes I told the comedian "Nice to meet you/Enchantée." I was really glad to have met him and I'm really glad that people like him exist in the world. We would all live much longer if we all had friends like that.