The kids and I spent all day at the pool today. I'm taking advantage of the time we have together because I know that I'm leaving in 18 days and will not see any of them for a long, long time. Gregoire is in Aix with Céline so I just had the triplets and Antoine and Nicolas. Baptiste hates the pool so he spent nearly all of vacation in front of the TV.
As you all already know, this family feeds me really well. All of our meals are always accompanied by fresh salads and some sort of freshly butchered meat.
Lunch: Steak, cheese tortellini, and salad
Dinner: Grilled pork and salad
If you've read my earlier blog posts, you know that Didier and I normally have pretty intense conversations after dinner. Tonight, we got on the topic of why I purposefully hide my emotions, whether they're good or bad. After a long conversation about various people taking my smile as a green light to hit on me, he got the idea. It's just out of habit that my face is stone-cold at times even if I'm super happy. On top of that, working at a bar can really just change a girl. Here's one example, so you guys can get the picture. I was working at an italian restaurant as a hostess my senior year of high school. As most of you know, the hostess is the kind, courteous person that greets you at the door. On one certain day, this 40 something year old man came in with his mother to order a piece of cake to go. As they were waiting for their order, I made small-talk with them. Please understand, I'm not going to ignore them as they're sitting in front of me. I made them feel comfortable. It's in the job description! Because I chatted the man up and cracked a smile, he came back to our restaurant every week, several times a week, just to see me, drop off some gifts and sometimes letters. If I wasn't working, he wouldn't stay for dinner. I was, of course, baffled by this because I was basically still a kid. I didn't really understand how I merited any of that attention so I asked him one day. He said "it was because of the way you smiled at me." And yep, from then on, I started hiding my teeth. Even after practicing a neutral face for so long, I still get guys that tell me that they thought I was interested in them because I smile back. Puh-lease!!! Can I please just be myself??? No??? Fine then. People need to understand that after so many people taking your smile the wrong way no matter what it's in reaction in, you eventually just learn to make your face react a different way. That's if you care enough anyway. And I do! It's not that I'm not happy. It's just out of habit that I don't grin from ear to ear anymore, even when I'm ecstatic.
As Didier and I were coming along in our conversation, Bonne Maman came and sat down at the table with us. Didier quickly explained to her what we were discussing and she completely cut him off and said in french "Melinda, I'll tell you what the problem is. It's not men. It's you. It's how you dress. You know you're pretty and yet you wear low-cut shirts...but you don't think a man is going to take notice of you? I think you know all too well how to seduce a man. So please, don't complain and say that it's because of them that you have learned to hide your emotions." Didier and I just sat there with our jaws dropped to the floor. It wasn't anywhere close to the discussion that we were having earlier. I told Bonne Maman that I dress differently with the family because I trust them. She completely brushed me off but then Didier stood up for me and said that she didn't see me from November to May when I was always in the same pair of jeans, cardigans, and scarves--even when I went out. She just chuckled in disbelief. You all have to understand that Bonne Maman is old school and that back in her day, everything was the woman's fault. Also, it wouldn't matter if I was covered from head to toe, I'm sure that she would make an excuse that I got attention of the wrong kind because I made my mascara too sexy or something. After so many conversations with Bonne Maman, you just realize that you'll never be right and that she'll always know more about you and your motives than you yourself! It's incredible. I just leave the conversation. Everyone else always stands up for me anyway not that it does any good. So, in short, me being afraid of showing enthusiasm turned into seeking attention. Oh well, at least I'm an attention whore with pretty, pretty toenails...
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