After nearly an entire night of silence, I left Andréa's this morning. We didn't say much to each other all night long. Talking is important, but last night for us was a chance to recapture all of the love and re-affirmation we've been without for the past two weeks. It was all about the "fuzzy stuff." The discussion and explanations could wait one more day. And that's what we did tonight when I finished my nanny duties. I went back to Marseille and we talked.
Andréa and I took turns explaining ourselves--each person having their own valid points. I was able to understand his point of view and actions while he was able to understand mine. I fully believe the problem leading up to our last blowout was miscommunication. I know that I stopped trying to explain myself and in turn, he stopped doing that as well. As a result of the lack of discussion, we stopped trying to understand one another. We already have a communication barrier [language], so talking, or at least hand gestures are absolutely necessary--it doesn't matter if I think he'll understand or not.
We've verbally resolved one big issue I had with him. We both agreed that it's not completely his fault when he gets mad but it's 100% his fault when his anger reaches his hands. Andréa agreed with me completely. He excused himself, was overwhelmingly apologetic, and is going to see a counselor to make sure it never happens again. Granted, he never really did anything except throw a few things and shove me. But things like that can and will get out of hand if it's not taken care of ahead of time. I'm glad he volunteered to get some counseling on the issue and I'm even happier that I didn't need to suggest it. I trust him.
And me? Well, I'm going to start talking about my feelings more. More important than that though, is that I'm going to stop saying things that will purposefully hurt Andréa. Yes, I'm aware that words can hurt more. I had forgotten what it was like to live with my mother. Her words were traumatizing and I don't ever want to be like that toward Andréa ever again. Life is already difficult without you trying to mess things up on your own. Love is easy. You just let it happen. People are the ones that make it complicated. We bring all of the external obstacles into the relationship when they really have no place there. It's really cliché but it's true--everyone needs to just "live, laugh, and love."
Everyone seems happy that we're together, even with the not-so-happy events in our short history. Our friends and families aren't supportive just because we're madly in love with each other, they see that we're both making an effort. Andréa and I have both made necessary changes. Changes that will benefit our relationship but will allow us to stay true to ourselves at the same time. We just need to keep reminding ourselves that we come from two different countries on two different continents. We speak different languages and come from different cultures. We were each nurtured differently. Everything between the two of us is different except for our future goals, and one crucial thing...love.
Andréa and I took turns explaining ourselves--each person having their own valid points. I was able to understand his point of view and actions while he was able to understand mine. I fully believe the problem leading up to our last blowout was miscommunication. I know that I stopped trying to explain myself and in turn, he stopped doing that as well. As a result of the lack of discussion, we stopped trying to understand one another. We already have a communication barrier [language], so talking, or at least hand gestures are absolutely necessary--it doesn't matter if I think he'll understand or not.
We've verbally resolved one big issue I had with him. We both agreed that it's not completely his fault when he gets mad but it's 100% his fault when his anger reaches his hands. Andréa agreed with me completely. He excused himself, was overwhelmingly apologetic, and is going to see a counselor to make sure it never happens again. Granted, he never really did anything except throw a few things and shove me. But things like that can and will get out of hand if it's not taken care of ahead of time. I'm glad he volunteered to get some counseling on the issue and I'm even happier that I didn't need to suggest it. I trust him.
And me? Well, I'm going to start talking about my feelings more. More important than that though, is that I'm going to stop saying things that will purposefully hurt Andréa. Yes, I'm aware that words can hurt more. I had forgotten what it was like to live with my mother. Her words were traumatizing and I don't ever want to be like that toward Andréa ever again. Life is already difficult without you trying to mess things up on your own. Love is easy. You just let it happen. People are the ones that make it complicated. We bring all of the external obstacles into the relationship when they really have no place there. It's really cliché but it's true--everyone needs to just "live, laugh, and love."
Everyone seems happy that we're together, even with the not-so-happy events in our short history. Our friends and families aren't supportive just because we're madly in love with each other, they see that we're both making an effort. Andréa and I have both made necessary changes. Changes that will benefit our relationship but will allow us to stay true to ourselves at the same time. We just need to keep reminding ourselves that we come from two different countries on two different continents. We speak different languages and come from different cultures. We were each nurtured differently. Everything between the two of us is different except for our future goals, and one crucial thing...love.
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