Andréa and I went to Carry today to have lunch with his dad and step-mom and to tell them about some big decisions we've made. After all of the things the two of us had been through together and after this recent loss, we decided we could never live without one another. I could never leave this relationship after all of the wonderful things we've experienced together...or bad, the lessons we've learned, together. Yes, we've had our troubles, but what couple hasn't. The problems we had are fixable and we've been making an effort. We continue to learn and grow with one another and that's essential when looking for a partner. Love like this, true love, is hard to come by and we're so lucky to have found it in each other. So we're getting married...Eventually.
A lot of people get married, but most people do it when they're not actually ready. I have so many friends that are already divorced so I had made myself a mental checklist over the years--learning from others' mistakes. Unfortunately, no one else I knew had gone through this particular situation (meeting someone abroad). Being a control freak, I had put all of these criteria on when and how I would get married. I want to date for 2 years, live together for 2 years, be married for a few years, AND THEN have children but I honestly don't know if that's how things will actually work out. I've kind of just been blowing with the trends of the wind.
Andréa and I aren't engaged. We decided it would happen when it's right. Nothing could happen until he got permission from Didier and my real dad anyway. This is a discussion we both had in the very beginning. But we picked out a ring anyway. For the future, the "just-in-case" the time's right. I wanted something untraditional but something that screams "me". We decided to look for something with my birthstone (sapphire) which happens to be Andréa's favorite gemstone as well. We browsed through hundreds of pictures before we came across one that had us both in awe. We completely reacted in the same manner when we saw this one. It's perfect! So, now he knows what I like. Is that weird?
Marriage is a big step and I wouldn't have entertained the idea if I didn't think I had personally grown myself. I can be pretty stubborn and opinionated--I'm Vietnamese. And Andréa has his faults but he's got a big heart and he loves every little piece of me. He wants to do anything and everything to make me happy and I had only just become the same for him. I took him for granted before. I realized during our separation that I made life a lot harder for Andréa. We argued about the visa because "I" wanted him to come to America the way I made it to France--on my own. If I didn't try to push him to do it alone, we never would've gotten into half of the arguments we had. I hurt him by making him feel like I didn't support him. I have a big problem with doing things the "easy" way. I just feel like life is more rewarding when you have to work for something--but this shouldn't have been one of those things. Love is so easy, you just have to stop poisoning it with external factors.
I always knew I wanted to marry Andréa, I kind of just thought that getting married would've been a solution. I didn't want to be that couple. But after awhile, I no longer saw things that way. I didn't want us to be married so he could have the visa. So we're going to let things happen as they happen. Not push it. What I needed to realize is that we would've always gotten married for love. It took me a long time to understand that when you love someone, you're not supposed to test them and make the situation more difficult. You're supposed to make life easier for them. The simple solution here is not to fight my feelings. I was fighting to do things the more traditional way, but when you know something, you just know. My intuition tells me that I will love Andréa forever and that we'll be happy together because we're always trying to be better for each other. And, we're lucky for that.
I could never deny the truth. He's the one.
A lot of people get married, but most people do it when they're not actually ready. I have so many friends that are already divorced so I had made myself a mental checklist over the years--learning from others' mistakes. Unfortunately, no one else I knew had gone through this particular situation (meeting someone abroad). Being a control freak, I had put all of these criteria on when and how I would get married. I want to date for 2 years, live together for 2 years, be married for a few years, AND THEN have children but I honestly don't know if that's how things will actually work out. I've kind of just been blowing with the trends of the wind.
Andréa and I aren't engaged. We decided it would happen when it's right. Nothing could happen until he got permission from Didier and my real dad anyway. This is a discussion we both had in the very beginning. But we picked out a ring anyway. For the future, the "just-in-case" the time's right. I wanted something untraditional but something that screams "me". We decided to look for something with my birthstone (sapphire) which happens to be Andréa's favorite gemstone as well. We browsed through hundreds of pictures before we came across one that had us both in awe. We completely reacted in the same manner when we saw this one. It's perfect! So, now he knows what I like. Is that weird?
I always knew I wanted to marry Andréa, I kind of just thought that getting married would've been a solution. I didn't want to be that couple. But after awhile, I no longer saw things that way. I didn't want us to be married so he could have the visa. So we're going to let things happen as they happen. Not push it. What I needed to realize is that we would've always gotten married for love. It took me a long time to understand that when you love someone, you're not supposed to test them and make the situation more difficult. You're supposed to make life easier for them. The simple solution here is not to fight my feelings. I was fighting to do things the more traditional way, but when you know something, you just know. My intuition tells me that I will love Andréa forever and that we'll be happy together because we're always trying to be better for each other. And, we're lucky for that.
I could never deny the truth. He's the one.
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