I had finished packing days ago so I spent all day cleaning the house. My host parents weren't home yet and I wanted them to come back to a proper house. They shouldn't be stressed about anything else after this past week's events. Bonne Maman's funeral was this morning. The triplets found out she died just yesterday and made their way to the vacation home to say goodbye. How incredibly sad for everyone. I wasn't close with Bonne Maman but she treated me just like one of her grandkids. I got more grandma time from her than I have from my own grandmothers who are continents away. I miss them all.
Gregoire's god-mother Carine offered to take him tonight so that I could finish my preparations without worrying about him. When I got to the creche to pick him up, I could tell something was wrong. He wasn't speaking to me and he wouldn't look me in the eyes. I got his shoes on, said goodbye to the women at the creche, and we both walked out in silence. It was awkward...When I buckled him up in the car, he made eye contact with me, but it was kind of mean. When I sat down in the driver's seat, he finally spoke. He said to me "Tu va où?"--'Where are you going?' I told him I was taking him to Carine's house and he just stared at me stearnly in the rear-view mirror before saying 'No. After.' I told him that I would be returning to my home. He asked if that was the United States, and I replied yes. I couldn't lie to him. I'm pretty sure the women at the creche told him I was leaving, and they weren't supposed to. At that moment, he started hyperventilating and I saw that his eyes were welling up with tears. I didn't want him to be upset so I told him that I wasn't leaving until tomorrow.
When we got to Carine's house, the 4 kids and nanny were there to greet us. They all tried to get Gregoire in the house so that I could go to dinner with Andréa, his father, and step-mother but Gregoire refused to enter without me. I had some time so when he held his hand out for me, I took it, and we walked in together. I turned around to go right back out the door but Gregoire jumped into my arms and wrapped his arms around my neck. He kept on screaming 'you can't go! you can't go!' The panic in his voice was so real that it made me tear up.
Everyone was trying to devise ways to calm him down so we all sat down in the TV room together. The girls put on a movie for Greg so that he would mellow out but he had planted himself so close to me that I couldn't move without him noticing. Even when I flinched, he grabbed onto me. I guess I was too obvious because Gregoire lodged himself in my lap, wrapping my arms around him. I got up to leave about ten minutes later. I didn't think he would notice but he asked me again where I was going. I lied this time. I told him I was going to use the bathroom and he in turn told me that he was coming. I really didn't have to use the bathroom so I just told him I would go later because it's not normal for people to go to the bathroom together. When I sat back down, Gregoire sat on my lap and wrapped both arms around me--sitting in an awkward side position so that he couldn't properly watch the movie.
We could all tell that Gregoire wasn't watching the TV so we went to François' room to play. He loves toy cars so all of the kids and even the nanny were playing with the cars. I stood by the doorway so that I could make an easy exit but he heard me take a step and raced to my side, asking me again where I was going. I lied once more. I told him I really had to pee this time and that he couldn't come with me. He told me that I wasn't allowed to leave him so he followed me to the bathroom. I pretended to do my business and returned him to the playroom afterward. I told him to go play. He listened, but he played while facing me so he could watch my every move. The kid is just too darn smart. I really didn't want to leave him but I figured the longer I stayed, the harder it would be. About 30 minutes later, the kids and the nanny all collectively distracted Gregoire at the same time. I finally saw my opportunity. I took off my flip flops and nudged the nanny. She got up to block the doorway, positioned herself and nodded before I slowly backed out of the room. I made it completely out of the house and shut the door before I heard Gregoire screaming for me and running down the hallway. I could hear everyone trying to calm him down and I just stood outside of the door for a minute, listening. I couldn't help it at this point. I just started crying.
I couldn't keep myself together. I cried all the way home. I've never felt so much separation anxiety in my life. I just love him so much. Gregoire is like a little brother AND a son to me. Being an au pair is so rewarding. You get to develop multi-faceted relationships with these kids that most people will never experience. Gregoire will forever be in my heart. Our connection is deeper than the relationships I have with his siblings. We spent the most time together. While the triplets were with their dad, he was with me. While Antoine and Nicolas were with their mom, he was still with me. We were attached at the hip. He's my little guy.
I had Andréa all to myself tonight and I was content with that, but God, I couldn't stop thinking about Gregoire.
Gregoire's god-mother Carine offered to take him tonight so that I could finish my preparations without worrying about him. When I got to the creche to pick him up, I could tell something was wrong. He wasn't speaking to me and he wouldn't look me in the eyes. I got his shoes on, said goodbye to the women at the creche, and we both walked out in silence. It was awkward...When I buckled him up in the car, he made eye contact with me, but it was kind of mean. When I sat down in the driver's seat, he finally spoke. He said to me "Tu va où?"--'Where are you going?' I told him I was taking him to Carine's house and he just stared at me stearnly in the rear-view mirror before saying 'No. After.' I told him that I would be returning to my home. He asked if that was the United States, and I replied yes. I couldn't lie to him. I'm pretty sure the women at the creche told him I was leaving, and they weren't supposed to. At that moment, he started hyperventilating and I saw that his eyes were welling up with tears. I didn't want him to be upset so I told him that I wasn't leaving until tomorrow.
When we got to Carine's house, the 4 kids and nanny were there to greet us. They all tried to get Gregoire in the house so that I could go to dinner with Andréa, his father, and step-mother but Gregoire refused to enter without me. I had some time so when he held his hand out for me, I took it, and we walked in together. I turned around to go right back out the door but Gregoire jumped into my arms and wrapped his arms around my neck. He kept on screaming 'you can't go! you can't go!' The panic in his voice was so real that it made me tear up.
Everyone was trying to devise ways to calm him down so we all sat down in the TV room together. The girls put on a movie for Greg so that he would mellow out but he had planted himself so close to me that I couldn't move without him noticing. Even when I flinched, he grabbed onto me. I guess I was too obvious because Gregoire lodged himself in my lap, wrapping my arms around him. I got up to leave about ten minutes later. I didn't think he would notice but he asked me again where I was going. I lied this time. I told him I was going to use the bathroom and he in turn told me that he was coming. I really didn't have to use the bathroom so I just told him I would go later because it's not normal for people to go to the bathroom together. When I sat back down, Gregoire sat on my lap and wrapped both arms around me--sitting in an awkward side position so that he couldn't properly watch the movie.
We could all tell that Gregoire wasn't watching the TV so we went to François' room to play. He loves toy cars so all of the kids and even the nanny were playing with the cars. I stood by the doorway so that I could make an easy exit but he heard me take a step and raced to my side, asking me again where I was going. I lied once more. I told him I really had to pee this time and that he couldn't come with me. He told me that I wasn't allowed to leave him so he followed me to the bathroom. I pretended to do my business and returned him to the playroom afterward. I told him to go play. He listened, but he played while facing me so he could watch my every move. The kid is just too darn smart. I really didn't want to leave him but I figured the longer I stayed, the harder it would be. About 30 minutes later, the kids and the nanny all collectively distracted Gregoire at the same time. I finally saw my opportunity. I took off my flip flops and nudged the nanny. She got up to block the doorway, positioned herself and nodded before I slowly backed out of the room. I made it completely out of the house and shut the door before I heard Gregoire screaming for me and running down the hallway. I could hear everyone trying to calm him down and I just stood outside of the door for a minute, listening. I couldn't help it at this point. I just started crying.
I couldn't keep myself together. I cried all the way home. I've never felt so much separation anxiety in my life. I just love him so much. Gregoire is like a little brother AND a son to me. Being an au pair is so rewarding. You get to develop multi-faceted relationships with these kids that most people will never experience. Gregoire will forever be in my heart. Our connection is deeper than the relationships I have with his siblings. We spent the most time together. While the triplets were with their dad, he was with me. While Antoine and Nicolas were with their mom, he was still with me. We were attached at the hip. He's my little guy.
I had Andréa all to myself tonight and I was content with that, but God, I couldn't stop thinking about Gregoire.
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