I had seen this ad on Facebook for singles in France so I signed up for the site. Though I'm extremely happy with my life here, I feel like something is missing. Since I was 14, I was always the girl with a boyfriend. I really enjoy my alone time and independence, but I also really love that connection that I can feel with a person. I've loved a lot of guys, but I've only been 'in love' a few times. It's still addicting no matter how deep the love is. I can't explain love itself, but it's so necessary for a full life. If you've done nothing else in life, you've got to experience love! It's the most wonderful thing in the world. I'm not saying I wanna get married y'all. I just miss that intense connection with another human being.
I've been single since April and though I've 'dated' a few guys during my singledom, I still feel incomplete. I'm not saying I need a man to feel whole, but love makes you feel so good about everything in general. I've met a few guys here that aren't really worth mentioning. A few guys at the bars, clubs, and markets. They're all "blech." I am so picky about the guys I want to be romantically involved with, but I feel like you should be. I've had some of the best relationships a girl could have and though I dumped all of them, I experienced some of the best the world of romance has to offer.
I dated my last 'boyfriend' because I felt sorry for him, and well, you guys know how that turned out. I will never do that again. I kept trying to convince myself that it was wrong of me to not like him because he was such a nice guy, but he was so boring. You can't force yourself to like someone and you can't fake chemistry. That's why I just don't lie. When the french guys ask me "Je te plait?" I tell them how I really feel, and generally, that's a straight up "no." I hate that they always ask that, it's like, 'Do you want the truth? Seriously?' Are their egos that big that they feel they can ask a question like that and not get turned down?
Anyway, back to the site. I signed up just a week ago to see how much better my fishing pond would get, and surprisingly, there were a lot of cute guys on that site that seemed to be intelligent AND in my age range. I didn't message a single person. I was waiting to see who would come to me. Little did I know that within an hour of signing up my inbox would be flooded with messages from your average Joe's to your CEOs. I messaged everyone back to see what they were all about. Most of the guys were very nice, and basically told me everything that I wanted to hear. Girls can totally tune into that though. It's like intuition when you know someone's being fake. I stopped talking to the guys that I felt were insincere. Comments they made just did not match up.
By the next day, the number of messages had doubled, and the day after, it had tripled. I had no idea there were so many single guys in Aix. Instead of writing everyone back, I started weeding out people I didn't like by ignoring their messages. Somehow, this didn't deter them because they would keep writing anyway, sending me poems and declarations of their feelings--telling me they fell under my spell and stupid crap that you don't say to someone you haven't even met in person. For the guys that I had no interest in who kept writing, I would tell them it was because of their religion or our hobbies clashing. When they didn't accept that as an answer, I would be honest and tell them I wasn't physically attracted or intellectually stimulated by them. Boy, would this piss them off...Instead of letting it go, these guys would throw jibes at me, telling me that I can't treat people like dirt just because I think I'm hot shit. I had one guy tell me that my profile was fake because I had light skin in one picture and was tan in another. Another guy told me that I wasn't really asian--that I'm hispanic and that I only put I was asian on my profile for attention. This is when I started blocking people.
After putting some restrictions on my account for those who want to contact me, I started seeing more messages that were more relevant to what I was looking for. The criteria for you to be able to contact me on this site are 1. You must live in France, 2. You must live in my region of France, 3. You must be between the ages of 25 and 35, 4. You have not sent any lewd e-mails to other members (Not sure how the site regulates that...), 5. You have a profile picture, 6. You are not searching for intimate relations. Though I had changed my profile to say that I was only looking for friends, I still allowed guys looking for a relationship or date to contact me.
After a lot of messaging, I chose to accept invitations from two guys for coffee in broad daylight. They both seemed relatively sane and cool so I met with them, separately. The first one seemed like someone I could really mesh with, really laid back, genuinely smiled, and incredibly intelligent. The second one wasn't as educated, but he was really sweet, pulling out my chair for me and such--you all know I'm really into chivalry. This one was pretty touchy feely though. Most of you know that I like my space. I absolutely HATE public displays of affection unless I'm in a serious relationship, and even then, I'll only allow hand-holding and tongue-less kisses, ha haha.
I sat with each one for about an hour before I found some excuse to leave because I was bored. When I got home I was shocked...My inbox was full of messages from these guys. They started out pretty innocent like "When will I see you next?" but the messages got increasingly irritating. For one of the guys, he sent one message after the next, within minutes or even seconds from the last asking me why I hadn't replied yet. The other guy messaged me telling me that he wanted to hook up. He sounded so desperate that it grossed me out. I almost puked on my laptop.
I wrote both of the guys back saying that I was no longer interested. When they asked why, I said that our personalities weren't compatible. When they said they couldn't understand, I explained. When they told me that those weren't good enough reasons, I told them I had found someone. When they told me they didn't care, I told them they were getting on my nerves. That's when I found the friend requests on Facebook. That might not seem creepy to anyone, but the only information they had on me was my first name...I ignored the requests but read their messages. After I blocked them, one guy made another profile with a pseudo and tried to add me from that. You all know that I never accept requests from anyone I don't personally know so I subsequently ignored those requests. The messages started piling up in my inbox. I ended up deleting them all because I didn't want to tempt myself to read them. I also didn't want the guys to know that the message had been "seen." One guy, we'll call him Bertie made a total of 3 FB profiles...
Though they've all asked me for my number, I've refused to give it to them until I get to know them better. Thank the Lord or the voice of reason because I don't know what I would do if these loonies were calling or texting me too. I had originally thought it was one of my friends playing a joke on me since they knew I signed up for the site, but no one has fessed up, and my friends would've stopped a long time ago. Besides that, the messages include information that none of my friends know so I'm sure it's not them.
I've heard that European guys are persistent, but this is just ridiculous. I can't believe I dedicated an entire blog post to this but it's just gotten so out of hand. I was complaining about not getting enough attention last week, but DAMN, this is just too much for me.
Good night y'all
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